​As my grandchildren might say, “Spring fever?  It’s a thing!”  It is real and, despite not having official standing as a medical or psychological diagnosis, you and I know that it’s a thing!
 
“This weather is so nice.  Do I really have to go to work?
 
Why can’t I wear shorts, a tee shirt, and sandals today.  It is supposed to get all the way up to 50 degrees?
 
I know I need to mow the grass, but where do you want to go for vacation this Summer?
 
No thanks, I am not hungry.  I think I will just take a walk in the park over my lunch hour.
 
Note to self, stop day dreaming and get back to work!
 
For most folks, Spring Fever is a brief period when we are easily distracted from responsibilities, especially when the weather is warming.  We feel drawn outside.  It is a “Stop and smell the flowers” kind of feeling.
 
Generally, this “fever” passes in time and we return to our usual routines.  However, we may have to deal with a missed deadline, a sunburn, or sore muscles before we get back on track.  At best it is a minor affliction.
 
For some, however, it can be more serious.  When it begins to seriously impact our health, it becomes a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  Generally, this comes in the Fall and Winter when the Sunshine is scarce and we become depressed.  But Psychologists also recognize a Spring and Summer version.   The symptoms may include trouble sleeping, poor appetite, weight loss, and agitation or anxiety.  Some theorize that it grows out of an inability to enjoy a season that seems to make everyone else feel better.  People experiencing grief or unsettling changes in their loves may experience this as well as those who may be having health, relationship, or other challenges.  This can be quite serious and should be addressed by a mental health professional.
 
But most of us experience the milder and more common “Spring Fever” of story and song.  If you find yourself longing to be outside, lounging on a beach soaking up some rays, or simply day dreaming of what life could be, then enjoy your fever.  Let it help you adjust to the season of new life that surrounds you.  Enjoy and celebrate the gifts it brings.

​Be Present to the Season – Let it be exactly what it is.  We may regret that it is not moving quickly enough.  We may be so distracted by other concerns that it comes and goes with little notice.  So, let the season surround you just as it is, unhindered by our desires that it be something else.
 
Listen carefully – Listen to your inner responses to it.  Does it disturb or inspire you?  Does it spur memories or dreams?  Does it encourage you to engage or withdraw from it?  Let your responses to it teach you about yourself.
 
Celebrate – Receive its gifts with gratitude.
 
Springtime slips into our lives slowly and fades far too quickly.  Let it reawaken your body-mind-soul to possibilities and opportunities.

Spring Fever Is Real
 
The Moods of Spring
 
SAD and Spring and Summer​​

​Of all the voices in our internal dialogue, among the loudest is that of our parents.  The parental voice is among the oldest memories most of us carry with us on a daily basis.  If that voice was highly critical and unable to be satisfied, we may struggle with our own self-worth.  If it was nurturing and encouraging, we will likely find an ally when we face difficult moments.  But for most of us, that voice, like our parents, is a little of both.  When these voices become critical of us, we need to seek out a particular type of self-care, self-forgiveness.
 
Memories are more than stories.  We also remember the feelings and sensations we experienced.  To remember is to re-member the many parts of the original experience, body-mind-soul into a new experience.  A painful memory will include some very powerful emotions.  These may include intense fear, deep sadness, paralyzing shame, or any number of other feelings.  We may not be able to recover a narrative of the memory, but a sensation (sight, sound, aroma, tactile sensation) can trigger an emotional memory.  However, the emotion can also trigger those physical sensations as well as a narrative.  When our boss tells us that we are just not living up to his or her expectations, we may hear our parents talking to us about our report card. 
 
Thus, remembering painful moments can cripple us.  It can steal our self-confidence and even prevent it from ever developing.  It can fill us with shame or anger or fear.  Because of it we may beat ourselves up over and over.  Something triggers a single part of the memory and we begin re-membering being a child all over again.
 
These soul memories need to be addressed.  The most effective avenue is through self-forgiveness.  

Emotional Memories
 
Self-Forgiveness
 
7 Steps toward Self-Forgiveness
​

​Zen Buddhism speaks of our having a little self and a big self.  The little self is that part of the inner life that is unable to escape the orbit of self-concern or desire.   It is the “me” as opposed to the “I.”   It is the place where our wants and needs seem to dominate the conversation.  It is most active in those who do not have a deep relationship with themselves.  They have trouble seeing themselves apart from their wants and desires.  The little self is mostly likely to engage in overthinking because, after all, it really is “all about me.”  A set-back is taken personally and so we muster all our faculties to deal with it.  Failure is always our fault and we must avoid it at all costs.
 
The big self, the “I”, sees itself as part of something bigger than the self.  It recognizes connections and influences beyond the control of the self.  The big self is able to admit that there is such a thing as luck or destiny, depending on your faith.  It allows us to relax and engage where we can and step back when necessary.  The big self lets go of the feeling that our lives depend solely on how we react in this or that situation.  It lives in a present that is rich with influences and opportunities beyond our ability to know or discern in advance.  The big self gives us the capacity to celebrate and engage surprises and challenges.
 
When we find ourselves experiencing anxiety because we are overthinking our situation, it is time to step back and gain a wider perspective from the big self.  In doing so we can proceed without becoming mired in the mud of the “me”, the little self.  By seeing our lives through the big self, we discover that it is not all about me.  It is really all about us!

We can best see our lives through the big self when we:
 

• Foster Gratitude by remembering that we did not get to this place by ourselves.  Remember those who have helped you along the way.
• Open our senses so that we can see and hear that we are not alone in this journey.
• Accept the limits of our understanding so that we can embrace, with humility, who we are, where we are, and where we want to go.

 
By leaning into the future using these three steps, we can see the broader landscape.  This removes our anxiety of the uncertainty and allows us to move forward, reassured that we, and our friends, can deal with whatever problems may arise.

What Overthinking Looks Like
 
Little Self, Big Self
 
Humility

We are all familiar with the hooks and eyes (or eyelets) on our clothing.  These simple closures make it possible to wear clothing by fashioning two simple little pieces of wire that “Hook together” and keep our clothing secure.
 
When families gather, we may be reunited with people we have known our entire lives.  Old “history” becomes flesh and blood.  Have you ever been in a conversation with a long-time relative or former friend and begin feeling like you are 10 years old?  Sometimes this may feel pretty good.  We may enjoy the comfort of being loved and accepted as only they can.  But sometimes it may feel uncomfortable.  It may awaken feelings of insecurity or vulnerability.  Your relationship with them may not have been a very healthy one.  They may be the “hook” to your long-buried feelings about them, the “eye”.
 
This can be especially true of those who may have been “bullied” or abused when they were young.  These people may have been part of a particularly painful part of our growing up or early adult years. Being “hooked” may either be intentional or unintentional.  Just being with them may trigger that “hooked” feeling. 
 
It is usually great to be able to reconnect with long-time family and friends.  We can grow in our acceptance of who we are by accepting who we have been.  We can re-discover long-forgotten parts of our lives and flesh out the vague impressions about ourselves left in remnants of remembrances.  But such reconnecting carries the risk of being hooked.  Self-care during family gatherings means preparing ourselves for and learning to deal with these experiences.

• Keep your soul open so that you can see them coming and be prepared.
• Resist the hooks.  These may be the personal jabs, barbs, stories, or old memories.  Be aware of them and do not take them personally.  They are history, allow them to remain in the past.
• Protect the holes in your soul (the eyelets), negative feelings and suspicions that we may have buried deep within.  This is where the hooks are most likely to attach themselves.  Deal with these holes in the soul and bring them out front where you can learn to live with them.  Hopefully, in dealing with them you can allow them to heal.
• When all else fails, disengage and move on.  You do not have to subject yourself to these feelings.
• However, these experiences can be indications of some very serious trauma in your life.  If you find that you cannot disengage or move on, seek out a therapist to help you deal with these experiences.  You owe it to yourself.

 

Feeling Like a Child Again
 
When Adults Re-discover their own Abuse as a Child
 
Surviving Shame

​One of the casualties of a seasonal change in the midst of a busy life can be hope.  Surprises can throw us off our game.  We are in the middle of a major project at work and all is going well, when the cold winter winds begin to blow with the news that the company is no longer funding your project.  We may lose heart and along with it hope that we will ever have another opportunity like this.  Or, a lifelong relationship suddenly ends in the death of our partner.  Our hope for happiness dies as well.  When the seasons of life change, especially when winter storms into our lives, our hope may leave us as well. 
 
Hope exists in a heart that recognizes that there is far more to our lives than we can see. Hope consists of two elements that dance around in our conversations.  A deep commitment to the future and various expectations in the present.  When we acknowledge that we cannot know the future but work toward improving it anyway, we demonstrate our commitment. We then translate that future into a set of expectations. These expectations then become our operative definition of hope.  When we do so, we have already started the journey to the other side of hope, disappointment.
 
Disappointment is inevitable, especially when the seasons of our lives change.  Our expectations are destroyed.  And, to the extent that we identify our hope with these particular expectations, our hope may be destroyed as well.  However, this is not inevitable.  We can learn to hold hope more effectively.
 
As long as we hold our hope tightly enough that we find comfort in the future but hold our expectations loosely enough that we are able move forward if they do not work out, our hope can withstand even the coldest Winter storms.  This is possible when we cultivate a lasting commitment to the future that grows out of our deepest self.  It grows out of knowing that in the end, all shall be well!  As long as we avoid become too closely tied into the “when” and “how” of that wellness, hope can abide.

​To remain grounded in hope, there are several tips you can use to control your expectations.
 
Thoughts are not real.  Thinking something does not make it true.  Expectations are simply thoughts about how something might work out.  The ideas of defeat or victory that sweep through our mind are mere thoughts and are no more real than a daydream.  Do not invest too much energy in the random thoughts that fill your mind as your expectations come to life and, just as quickly, fade.
 
Be brave enough to wait out a feeling.  Do not dismiss your feelings or act on them too quickly.  When we experience disappointment, it can overwhelm our lives and we are prone to either drown in it or act too quickly to overcome it.  Step back from that feeling and allow it to slowly help you understand your situation more fully inform your response to it.
 
Keep your expectations real.  We can fantasize glorious outcomes for our actions.  Such fantasies may help motivate us to do extraordinary things.  But, unrealistic expectations are very difficult to release.   Keep your expectations as real as your situation.  Fantasy may be fun just don’t plan your life around it.
 
Recognize the Good Stuff in your Life.   Practice gratitude by recognizing the things that you have accomplished and the gifts you have been given.  Such gratitude tends to allow humility room in our soul and encourage hope to grow.
 
Finally, stay real with yourself, both the good and bad.  Most unrealistic expectations grow out of self-deception.  Strive for humility, knowing yourself just as you are, and hope will be able flourish even when the ground is cold and hard.
 

Origins of Disappointment
 
Dealing with Disappointment
 
Staying Grounded in Hope

​For the last few weeks we have been exploring how we become disconnected from ourselves and our daily living.  Usually this is unintentional and just sort of happens over time.  But when it comes to being disconnected from our soul, the seat of our emotions and will, it is more likely to be intentional. 
 
Disconnecting from our feelings is one way that we cope.  This is choice we make either consciously or subconsciously.  It serves as a circuit breaker for the soul by protecting us from emotional overload. But, it also disconnects our will to act.  It is much like the voluntary or involuntary covering our ears when the sound becomes too loud or closing our eyes when the light is too bright.  We become blind and deaf to the beauty that only our soul can see and hear.  We become less capable of responding appropriately in our world.  We may simply stand frozen in the middle of our darkened, silent lives.
 
We may feel like we are not really here, like a disembodied spirit floating through life.  We may go about the motions of living, doing the routine, but not really living it.
 
This numbness may grow out of several situations.  It may accompany a time of depression or grief.  It can be a sign of PTSD or any other overwhelming anxiety.  It can also be a side effect of some medications, or simply a reaction to extreme stress.  Regardless of the origin, we become disconnected from our inner lives and frozen in our place, unable to move.
 
Such disconnections are very difficult to deal with on our own.  We have lost the power to will and therefore our numbness does not feel like a choice.  It feels like an outside intruder beyond our power.  We may truly believe we are a victim and helpless.  Usually, we can only become reconnected through the intervention of someone we trust, someone who we know cares for us.  
 
Being present, showing up, in our life requires that we stay connected to our Body, Mind, and soul.  And sometimes, when the disconnect is too strong we definitely need a little help from our friends.

​Get Moving – The Self-Care tip for being disconnected from our soul is perhaps the most difficult of all the tips I have offered.  It is very straight forward but difficult to do.  In order to reconnect with our inner most lives we need to Get Moving, both figuratively and literally. 
 
Literally, we need to push past our depression, isolation, sadness, anxiety, or whatever may be holding you in the moment.   Get up and physically move.  Walk around the house.  Walk around the yard.  Walk around the block.  Go to the park and just walk.  Physical activity pays big dividends in our soul. 
 
Figuratively, we need to get moving in our own inner life as well.  Make an inventory of friends who care about you.  Make a list of the blessings you enjoy.  Acknowledge your hurt but push past it to be able to acknowledge the resources and opportunities in your life.  Accept responsibility for each day and get yourself moving through it by taking care of your responsibilities and opportunities. 
 
It is easier to act our way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel our way into a new way of acting.  I repeat, it is easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel your way into a new way of acting.  Work on your actions and your feelings will follow.
 
Find a Friend – Along with “Get Moving” find that friend who will help you.  You need someone who will listen as you talk your way through your feelings.  They can hold you accountable for the decisions you make by gently reminding you of the promises you made to yourself.  As you talk with your friend, accept your emotional state as a precious part of yourself and anticipate that it will have much to teach you.  Also, accept the love and grace of your companion who will give you the strength you need to get moving once again.
 
A word to the friend of one who is disconnected – Do not judge your friend.  They may not be victims, but this may be an involuntary way to cope with an overwhelming situation.  Your role is simple. Be their friend and help them find the energy they need to get moving.  Be gentle and firm in your love and care.

 
Being disconnected from our soul is among the most difficult circumstances we will ever encounter.  But, with a little help from a friend you will rediscover your inner life and will find love and trust, joy and hope emerging and growing in your daily life.  Please know that if you ever want anyone to talk to when you feel lost and alone, please contact me.  I will do my best to help you find what you need to live your life.

Emotional Numbing
 
Stop Numbing Out
 
Sitting with Your Feelings

​I recently bought a bicycle to use while camping.  As I put the bike together, I had visions of cruising the trails of some of my favorite campgrounds.  I could feel the wind in my face as I navigated the narrow paths and the sounds of leaves crunching under the tires mixed with the songs of birds in the trees.  When the bike was ready, I took it out on the driveway and tried it out.  Let’s just say there was no wind, crunching leaves, or singing birds.  I did feel hard concrete on my hand, a strange pop in my back, and a bit of a scream from the mouth of someone who has not ridden a bike in 20 years.  Remember the old saying, “It’s like riding a bike…”  If you want to test this adage, let me suggest a helmet, knee pads, and a back brace! Training wheels should get some consideration as well.
 
This experience reminded me that riding a bike takes concentration.  And when we are just starting, all our concentration is on one goal!  “Don’t fall over!”  We correct and over correct with the handlebars.  We forget to keep moving the pedals.  We hit the brakes too quickly.  We are consumed with surviving that first ride.
 
Riding the Tiger feels a lot like that bike ride.  We are a soul consumed with survival.  There is no way to enjoy the ride when we are focused on surviving.  Joy and hope evaporate, especially when we are riding a tiger we have never met.   We are so totally focused on not falling off that we cannot find our balance and relax into the ride.  Our soul flashes warning signs and our attention remains riveted by the dangers that surround us.  These moments are crying out for a little self-care to help us move from surviving to thriving.

The usual way of dealing with any type of stress is meditation.  It allows us to re-center our attention on being present to and mindful of the moment.  Likewise, the ultimate way to deal with a tiger ride is meditation.  However, most meditation techniques require stillness and quiet which may not be possible when the tiger is leaping over downed logs.
 
So today, I offer you Meditation in Motion.  This is also known as the ancient Buddhist practice of mindfulness.  These are the four principles of mindfulness that apply to tiger riding.
 
Mindfulness of Body – Pay attention to and be mindful of your breath and position.  Allow your breathing to slow and your position to relax into the seat.  Allow yourself to feel the ride and stay with the motion of the tiger.
 
Mindfulness of Feelings/Sensations – Pay attention to and be mindful of sensations and emotions, especially tension and fear.  Remember that over-steering when on the bike?  When our arms were tense and our soul was afraid, we made fast, abrupt changes in steering which inevitably led to skinned knees and bruised egos.  The same is true when riding the tiger.  Our judgment is impaired and our ability to respond is compromised.  Be mindful of the tension and let it go.  Be mindful of the fear and do not give it free rein in your soul
 
Mindfulness of Mind – Pay attention to and be mindful of your mental state.  Anxiety and trust cannot coexist.  You cannot trust yourself or anything else when you are anxious about what might happen.  Be aware of your anxiety and recognize that it is flowing from your inexperience.  Allow yourself to trust, knowing that you might fall off.  And, if you do, you will get right back on!
 
Mindfulness of Dharma -- Pay attention to and be mindful of the way things are.  Accept your situation.  You have chosen to be here otherwise you would have gotten off.  (Look back to last week’s Self-Care Note.)  We are part of a closely connected and interdependent existence.  There are causes and effects, results and consequences.  You may be surprised by the unforeseen or the unanticipated, but, by and large, you have what you need to ride this Tiger.  Relax into your seat.  Control your breathing.  Check the tension, fear, and anxiety at the door and enjoy the ride!
 
I will ride that bike again.  I will likely fall off again.  But, I will feel the wind on my face and listen to the leaves crunching and the birds singing.  And you can ride whatever tiger life has lined up for you.  Relax and enjoy the ride!

From Survive to Thrive
 
Relaxing into the Flow
 
Meditation in Motion

​Loneliness is most deeply felt in the soul.  When aloneness transforms into loneliness, the soul may begin to feel abandoned, isolated, and lost.  Such inner loneliness may make life feel hollow, or as if it was on hold waiting for something or someone.  The lonely soul may feel trapped in a place where normal has become a pipedream.  It can foster depression and attack any positive feelings we may hold about ourselves.  The lonely soul, especially if that loneliness extends over a long period of time, can destroy our physical, mental, and spiritual health.
 
The debilitating effects of loneliness on the soul demands that each of us find ways to transform it into genuine solitude.
 
A Soul in Solitude is able to enjoy and celebrate in the company of the self.  It grows out of a befriending of the self that allows us to find acceptance of who and where we are.  To be able to enjoy solitude is to become whole within ourselves. There is always room for others, but we are comfortable being alone. Our capacity for acceptance does not allow our doubts to grow into anxiety or debilitating fears.  We recognize that we have not been abandoned.  We are still loved.  Our aloneness will not last forever.  We can simply sit within ourselves for this moment and find contentment.   Solitude allows us to relax into our own existence and make peace within our soul.

​Unfortunately, transforming loneliness in the soul into real solitude is not a quick fix.  Unlike body or mind loneliness, soul loneliness grows out of a much deeper set of needs that cannot be dealt with by going for a walk or reading a book.  It may be necessary to avoid being alone too much until you have worked on some of the ideas listed below.  Developing the capacity to address an acute experience of loneliness in the soul takes time.  Therefore, these tips are recommended to avoid having our soul loneliness become a lifelong experience.
 
First, we need to become as completely present to ourselves as possible.  This mindfulness of self comes from spending time acknowledging who we are without judgment.  It means coming to terms with the reality that we are not perfect.  We are who we are.  It means developing genuine humility.  Humility grows out of the Latin word humilitas which is derived from the word humus or dirt.  We are of the earth, no more and no less.  To be humble is to know ourselves as we are, no more and no less.  We are not perfect.  However, our flaws are not the whole story.  We are a mixture of good and bad, extraordinary and very ordinary.  By becoming genuinely present to ourselves, just as we are without judgement, we set the stage for solitude.  (I didn’t promise that this was easy.)
 
Second, we need to become aware of when anxiety and/or fear is beginning to drag our aloneness into loneliness.  Listen for internal, negative statements about the self or our situation when we are alone.  These are the shadows of loneliness creeping into the soul.  In that moment, become mindful of something more than the shadows.  Take a quick inventory of your situation.  Where is life still bubbling around you?  Not every dark cloud becomes a thunderstorm.  Not every strong wind becomes a hurricane.  Look beyond the fear and anxiety in the shadows and become open to the world in whatever way it unfolds.  Not every separation becomes estrangement.  Not every ill-spoken word leads to broken relationship.  Not every disappointment leads to failure.  Become fully mindful of who you are without judgment by acknowledging the sunshine along with the shadows.
 
Lastly, we need to relax into our lives.   Enjoy who you are in that moment.  Become open to the life that surrounds you.  Acknowledge the relationships that sustain you and the opportunities that surround you.   Be aware of the beauty of life in the world around you and within you.  The first link under the FYI will take you to a poem that was written by Max Ehrmann ninety years ago.  It spoke to the heart of a generation and continues to offer each of us a pathway to self-acceptance and solitude.  I encourage you to read through this and keep it available to remind you that you are indeed a treasure among a whole treasure chest filled with beauty and wonder.  “With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.  Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

​Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
 
Overcoming Loneliness
 
The Power of Solitude

​It is from within the soul that we create the energy to live our lives.  This soul-energy is called the human will.  Our body can sense a need to act.  Our mind can decide upon the action to be taken.  But until the soul generates the will to act, generally nothing will happen.  I say generally because there is an exception. We do go on autopilot from time to time and act out of shear repetition.  These automatic responses are soul-less.  We just do them. There is no real engagement or feeling involved.  In fact, we do our best to numb ourselves to any feeling so that our responses are unhindered by our emotions.  This is a necessary skill for life in a complex world.
 
However, this autopilot comes at a cost. When we begin to apply this skill too broadly in our lives, we become increasingly soul-less.  We lose touch with our innermost life.  We eliminate the complications that emotions bring to our relationships and life situations.  As we allow autopilot to control more and more of our lives, we begin to feel less and less.  We may feel that we are just “going through the motions.”  We experience no joy or hope in our everyday lives.  Love and trust begin to ebb and we begin to feel very alone.  Ultimately, we become a machine.  The other word for this is “Burnout.”
 
A vacation, meaning to temporarily vacate our day-to-day life, gives us the opportunity to feel once again.  The change in scenery and/or routine forces us off autopilot.  We refocus on the people and situations that surround us.  We engage the world afresh and reap the benefits of feeling and choosing and doing with joy and hope.  Life seeps back into the soul-less corners of our lives and be renew our acquaintance with our inner self.  We feel the energy that comes from laughter and joy warming the cold limbs of our lives.  We rediscover awe and wonder filling the void that has taken over our mind.  The stories come alive again.  The energy to live, laugh, and love returns.  Life becomes good again.
 
And, if we are attentive, we will be able to reassess just how much autopilot we need when we return to our day-to-day lives and keep it to a minimum.  But just in case, there will be another vacation when we need it to remind ourselves about what is truly important in life.

​My tip today is to Rage Against the Machine that you have become.
 
Break the routine in your life.  Force yourself off autopilot.  You may fear that you have forgotten how to fly that plane, but it will come back to you.  Allow the life-giving feelings to begin to course through your soul.  Fear, exhilaration, awe, and relief will fill the void that you did not even know you had.
 
Do and think differently.  Challenge your most cherished ways of doing things and your most deeply held convictions.  Shine the light of today on the routines and beliefs of yesterday.  Let in the fresh air of a new morning so that the stale air of an autopiloted doing and understanding can be refreshed or replaced.  If new ways or beliefs emerge, take them with you back into the day-to-day world.
 
Feel! Most importantly, let yourself feel.  Emotions cannot harm you.  You do not have to act on them.  Just let them course through your soul.  Let them fill the reservoirs of vitality from which you draw your energy.  Let go of those that drain you.  Hold on to those that fill you.  Celebrate the symphony of life that is now playing in your soul.

5 Signs you are on Autopilot
 
Stop Living on Autopilot
 
How Vacation Affected My Soul

Being SoulStuck is a common experience for most folks.  While is does not happen every day, most of us get SoulStuck from time to time.  SoulStuck meanings we are trapped in orbit around unhealthy emotions, or boredom/apathy.  (We can become SoulStuck in positive emotions as well, but I will deal with this at a later time.)

We feel a lingering sense of anger, disappointment, or shame bubbling up throughout the day. It may have triggered by something we said or did.  It may have begun in the thoughtless word or action of a friend or stranger.  It can linger on the edges of our day-to-day thoughts for a week or more.  It may leave a sour taste in our lives and we cannot get past it.

We may wake up in the morning with a sense of futility.  The world has lost its flavor and we feel we are just going through the motions.  We are bored with the “same old, same old.”  We just do not really care how things turn out.  All we want is to get through it with as little pain or drama as possible. 

In these instances, our soul is no longer growing.  It is suffocating in the stale air of yesterday, and living a passionless existence.  We feel stuck! 

However, a soul that is free soars and swoops like birds over a beach.  The FreeSoul feels what is feels and then moves on.  It may linger for a time to allow the mind to learn what is needs to learn, but then it moves on.  The FreeSoul is mindful of the moment and draws all that it needs from the present.  In tears, the soul draws healing.  In laughter, the soul draws delight.  In deep connection with another, the soul draws empathy and comfort.  The FreeSoul does not find itself trapped and unable to move forward.  It grows through today while gently holding the memories and insights of yesterday.  It does not allow the fears of tomorrow to steal the joy from today. 

Being SoulStuck can lead to the death of the inner life.  It can destroy our capacity for love and trust, joy, and hope.  When we allow our SoulStuckness to go on and on, we risk losing ourselves in regrets over yesterday and fears over tomorrow.  We lose the vitality of living that comes from feeling our feelings, growing through them, and moving on.  

The tip for dealing with being SoulStuck is the practice of daily mindfulness.

There is a great deal written about mindfulness.  It grows out of the centuries old teaching of Buddhism that speaks of the importance of staying connected to ourselves and the world around us.  I see daily mindfulness as a way of by escaping the orbit of emotions surrounding Yesterday and Tomorrow by rediscovering Today.  

Find the words(s) to capture the emotion.  In naming something we exert a sense of understanding and control over the meaning of a particular feeling.  Try and find the right word by describing your inner experience.  Try and capture the shades of meaning in your emotional experience.  Mad, sad, glad, and scared are not enough.  How mad?  How sad?  Are you overjoyed or mildly amused? 

Next, feel the energy the emotion offers.  Emotions create the power we need to act.  Capture that energy and allow it to motivate you to learn from and grow through your experience.

Then, redirect that energy to draw meaning from the moment.  Allow that energy to help you muster the courage to accept your learning.  It may help you accept responsibility and move toward asking forgiveness.  It may give you the strength you need to change a long-held belief.  It may give you the power you need to gently confront the person or situation that led to your anger or fear.

Finally, surround that moment with a new story to capture it’s meaning.  Allow yourself to write a new page in your mental diary that will allow you to hold on to what you have learned.  Allow that negative feeling to become the catalyst for growing into a new way of living and being.

Daily Mindfulness is a valuable tool for living with the SoulStuckness in our lives.

Stuck in Negative Emotions

Releasing a Stuck Soul

Everyday Mindfulness