Cold chills…
Sleepless nights…
Trembling hands…
We all have moments like these. Sometimes we know why and sometimes they come out of nowhere and overwhelm us. Such moments can accompany painful memories as they surface in our lives.
Memory is a primary function of the mind. Along with reason and language, memory allows us to learn and grow in understanding. Remembering consists of three parts. The first is the actual storage about which we know very little other than each memory appears to be scattered throughout the brain. The second is to maintain a memory. The third is recall, to be able to piece together a stored memory and bring it to consciousness. We all have a wealth of memories. Some are more immediately available for recall than others.
We maintain memories by paying attention to them. We may keep them alive by being constantly reminded of them. We may not even be aware that we are keeping them alive. Thus, we may have an unacknowledged memory ready for recall with the simplest trigger. This means that painful or disturbing memories can easily surface from any part of the memory. A remembered aroma, or image can cause the brain to begin reassembling the memory in part or as a whole. A word or phrase can also initiate the recall process. An unanticipated emotion can cause the mind to begin reassembling a distant memory. The more often this occurs the more easily the memory is available for recall.
The mind allows us to learn and grow in understanding through the gift of memory. However, as any gift, it must be cared for and nurtured if it is to offer us it’s fruit.
Tip -- Learning from our Memories
In a safe place, allow the memory to surface. Journaling the memory can assist in holding on to it without constantly recalling the more painful parts of it.
Look for themes in the memory. They will likely point you to surprising experiences, situations and ideas that you had long since resolved.
Which of these themes are most alive for you? Which themes have the most energy for you? They are likely to be the most relevant.
Let the memory suggest a way through your present circumstance or situation. Before you follow through, however, talk with a trusted friend. They will likely be able to see more clearly than you.
I want to reiterate; these self-care suggestions are intended only for mildly troubling memories. For memories that greatly disturb your life or that become much more disturbing as you remember them, please see a trained professional to assist you in processing them.
The mind is a powerful part of our human spirit. Take care of it. It holds the wisdom you need to become the person you want to be.