General Information – Self-Care and Relationships
I guess you are getting the picture. How many words do we have to describe our relationships? Linguists tell us that human beings create words to help them understand and describe their life experience. The classical example is the Inuit Tribe that has hundreds of words for snow. They live in the Artic and need them to deal with their daily experiences, at least during the winter. What do the thousands of words that we have to understand and describe our relationships suggest about the importance of relationship in our lives?
Unlike the old myth of rugged individualism that has been current for the last century, we are made to live in relationship with each other. We gathered together in tribes to defend ourselves in our environment. We developed language that allowed us to relate to one another. We ordered our common life with rules and created ideas like justice and mercy to make that common life more livable. We do not simply choose to live in relationship with one another. We are relational beings, wholly dependent on one another for life itself.
With this in mind, we will be exploring ways we can take care of ourselves in the midst of the intricate network of relationships that both surrounds and fills us. A relationship is not simply the line or lines drawn between two or more people. A relationship is a state of being with external and internal dynamics. These lines reach through us, not to us. They connect our bodies, our minds, and our souls. When one strand is disturbed it reverberates throughout the web. Tending to these strands is integral to meaningful self-care.
For the next few weeks, I encourage you to recognize that self-care involves taking care of the relationships that are an integral part of the lives you live each day. What do these relationships demand of you? How do they affect the way you see yourself and the world in which you live? How do your daily relationships make you feel about yourself and the life you live? Ultimately, I would hope that each of us would accept responsibility for our intricate weaving of relationships and tenderly care for them in order to better care for ourselves.
Tips - Relationship Inventory – Part One
Our first tip is a simple exercise that will help you visualize the web of relationships in your life.
Open your address book, your Facebook Friends, your Following List on Twitter, or your connections on LinkedIn and ask yourself these questions:
1) When was the last time I communicated with the person directly?
2) One a scale of 1-10, how deeply would I grieve if this person died?
3) How different would my life be if I had never met this person?
4) How does remembering this person make me feel?
When you have gotten through the list, what impressions linger in your mind or soul about these people? Do your relationships as a whole bring you love and foster trust? Do they fill you with joy and hope?
Over the next few weeks spend some time with these questions and seek out ways that your relationships will bring you the life that you desire and deserve.