I will be taking a brief break while Marlene and I head out for a few weeks’ vacation. Self-Care Notes will resume on 10/17/17 when we begin to explore self-care during the changing Seasons of life. Take care of yourself! Bob
General Information
For the last few weeks we have been exploring how we become disconnected from ourselves and our daily living. Usually this is unintentional and just sort of happens over time. But when it comes to being disconnected from our soul, the seat of our emotions and will, it is more likely to be intentional.
Disconnecting from our feelings is one way that we cope. This is choice we make either consciously or subconsciously. It serves as a circuit breaker for the soul by protecting us from emotional overload. But, it also disconnects our will to act. It is much like the voluntary or involuntary covering our ears when the sound becomes too loud or closing our eyes when the light is too bright. We become blind and deaf to the beauty that only our soul can see and hear. We become less capable of responding appropriately in our world. We may simply stand frozen in the middle of our darkened, silent lives.
We may feel like we are not really here, like a disembodied spirit floating through life. We may go about the motions of living, doing the routine, but not really living it.
This numbness may grow out of several situations. It may accompany a time of depression or grief. It can be a sign of PTSD or any other overwhelming anxiety. It can also be a side effect of some medications, or simply a reaction to extreme stress. Regardless of the origin, we become disconnected from our inner lives and frozen in our place, unable to move.
Such disconnections are very difficult to deal with on our own. We have lost the power to will and therefore our numbness does not feel like a choice. It feels like an outside intruder beyond our power. We may truly believe we are a victim and helpless. Usually, we can only become reconnected through the intervention of someone we trust, someone who we know cares for us.
Being present, showing up, in our life requires that we stay connected to our Body, Mind, and soul. And sometimes, when the disconnect is too strong we definitely need a little help from our friends.
Disconnecting from our feelings is one way that we cope. This is choice we make either consciously or subconsciously. It serves as a circuit breaker for the soul by protecting us from emotional overload. But, it also disconnects our will to act. It is much like the voluntary or involuntary covering our ears when the sound becomes too loud or closing our eyes when the light is too bright. We become blind and deaf to the beauty that only our soul can see and hear. We become less capable of responding appropriately in our world. We may simply stand frozen in the middle of our darkened, silent lives.
We may feel like we are not really here, like a disembodied spirit floating through life. We may go about the motions of living, doing the routine, but not really living it.
This numbness may grow out of several situations. It may accompany a time of depression or grief. It can be a sign of PTSD or any other overwhelming anxiety. It can also be a side effect of some medications, or simply a reaction to extreme stress. Regardless of the origin, we become disconnected from our inner lives and frozen in our place, unable to move.
Such disconnections are very difficult to deal with on our own. We have lost the power to will and therefore our numbness does not feel like a choice. It feels like an outside intruder beyond our power. We may truly believe we are a victim and helpless. Usually, we can only become reconnected through the intervention of someone we trust, someone who we know cares for us.
Being present, showing up, in our life requires that we stay connected to our Body, Mind, and soul. And sometimes, when the disconnect is too strong we definitely need a little help from our friends.
Tip
Get Moving – The Self-Care tip for being disconnected from our soul is perhaps the most difficult of all the tips I have offered. It is very straight forward but difficult to do. In order to reconnect with our inner most lives we need to Get Moving, both figuratively and literally.
Literally, we need to push past our depression, isolation, sadness, anxiety, or whatever may be holding you in the moment. Get up and physically move. Walk around the house. Walk around the yard. Walk around the block. Go to the park and just walk. Physical activity pays big dividends in our soul.
Figuratively, we need to get moving in our own inner life as well. Make an inventory of friends who care about you. Make a list of the blessings you enjoy. Acknowledge your hurt but push past it to be able to acknowledge the resources and opportunities in your life. Accept responsibility for each day and get yourself moving through it by taking care of your responsibilities and opportunities.
It is easier to act our way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel our way into a new way of acting. I repeat, it is easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel your way into a new way of acting. Work on your actions and your feelings will follow.
Find a Friend – Along with “Get Moving” find that friend who will help you. You need someone who will listen as you talk your way through your feelings. They can hold you accountable for the decisions you make by gently reminding you of the promises you made to yourself. As you talk with your friend, accept your emotional state as a precious part of yourself and anticipate that it will have much to teach you. Also, accept the love and grace of your companion who will give you the strength you need to get moving once again.
A word to the friend of one who is disconnected – Do not judge your friend. They may not be victims, but this may be an involuntary way to cope with an overwhelming situation. Your role is simple. Be their friend and help them find the energy they need to get moving. Be gentle and firm in your love and care.
Being disconnected from our soul is among the most difficult circumstances we will ever encounter. But, with a little help from a friend you will rediscover your inner life and will find love and trust, joy and hope emerging and growing in your daily life. Please know that if you ever want anyone to talk to when you feel lost and alone, please contact me. I will do my best to help you find what you need to live your life.
Literally, we need to push past our depression, isolation, sadness, anxiety, or whatever may be holding you in the moment. Get up and physically move. Walk around the house. Walk around the yard. Walk around the block. Go to the park and just walk. Physical activity pays big dividends in our soul.
Figuratively, we need to get moving in our own inner life as well. Make an inventory of friends who care about you. Make a list of the blessings you enjoy. Acknowledge your hurt but push past it to be able to acknowledge the resources and opportunities in your life. Accept responsibility for each day and get yourself moving through it by taking care of your responsibilities and opportunities.
It is easier to act our way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel our way into a new way of acting. I repeat, it is easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than it is to feel your way into a new way of acting. Work on your actions and your feelings will follow.
Find a Friend – Along with “Get Moving” find that friend who will help you. You need someone who will listen as you talk your way through your feelings. They can hold you accountable for the decisions you make by gently reminding you of the promises you made to yourself. As you talk with your friend, accept your emotional state as a precious part of yourself and anticipate that it will have much to teach you. Also, accept the love and grace of your companion who will give you the strength you need to get moving once again.
A word to the friend of one who is disconnected – Do not judge your friend. They may not be victims, but this may be an involuntary way to cope with an overwhelming situation. Your role is simple. Be their friend and help them find the energy they need to get moving. Be gentle and firm in your love and care.
Being disconnected from our soul is among the most difficult circumstances we will ever encounter. But, with a little help from a friend you will rediscover your inner life and will find love and trust, joy and hope emerging and growing in your daily life. Please know that if you ever want anyone to talk to when you feel lost and alone, please contact me. I will do my best to help you find what you need to live your life.
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