General Information
One of the casualties of a seasonal change in the midst of a busy life can be hope. Surprises can throw us off our game. We are in the middle of a major project at work and all is going well, when the cold winter winds begin to blow with the news that the company is no longer funding your project. We may lose heart and along with it hope that we will ever have another opportunity like this. Or, a lifelong relationship suddenly ends in the death of our partner. Our hope for happiness dies as well. When the seasons of life change, especially when winter storms into our lives, our hope may leave us as well.
Hope exists in a heart that recognizes that there is far more to our lives than we can see. Hope consists of two elements that dance around in our conversations. A deep commitment to the future and various expectations in the present. When we acknowledge that we cannot know the future but work toward improving it anyway, we demonstrate our commitment. We then translate that future into a set of expectations. These expectations then become our operative definition of hope. When we do so, we have already started the journey to the other side of hope, disappointment.
Disappointment is inevitable, especially when the seasons of our lives change. Our expectations are destroyed. And, to the extent that we identify our hope with these particular expectations, our hope may be destroyed as well. However, this is not inevitable. We can learn to hold hope more effectively.
As long as we hold our hope tightly enough that we find comfort in the future but hold our expectations loosely enough that we are able move forward if they do not work out, our hope can withstand even the coldest Winter storms. This is possible when we cultivate a lasting commitment to the future that grows out of our deepest self. It grows out of knowing that in the end, all shall be well! As long as we avoid become too closely tied into the “when” and “how” of that wellness, hope can abide.
Hope exists in a heart that recognizes that there is far more to our lives than we can see. Hope consists of two elements that dance around in our conversations. A deep commitment to the future and various expectations in the present. When we acknowledge that we cannot know the future but work toward improving it anyway, we demonstrate our commitment. We then translate that future into a set of expectations. These expectations then become our operative definition of hope. When we do so, we have already started the journey to the other side of hope, disappointment.
Disappointment is inevitable, especially when the seasons of our lives change. Our expectations are destroyed. And, to the extent that we identify our hope with these particular expectations, our hope may be destroyed as well. However, this is not inevitable. We can learn to hold hope more effectively.
As long as we hold our hope tightly enough that we find comfort in the future but hold our expectations loosely enough that we are able move forward if they do not work out, our hope can withstand even the coldest Winter storms. This is possible when we cultivate a lasting commitment to the future that grows out of our deepest self. It grows out of knowing that in the end, all shall be well! As long as we avoid become too closely tied into the “when” and “how” of that wellness, hope can abide.
Tips for Staying Grounded
To remain grounded in hope, there are several tips you can use to control your expectations.
Thoughts are not real. Thinking something does not make it true. Expectations are simply thoughts about how something might work out. The ideas of defeat or victory that sweep through our mind are mere thoughts and are no more real than a daydream. Do not invest too much energy in the random thoughts that fill your mind as your expectations come to life and, just as quickly, fade.
Be brave enough to wait out a feeling. Do not dismiss your feelings or act on them too quickly. When we experience disappointment, it can overwhelm our lives and we are prone to either drown in it or act too quickly to overcome it. Step back from that feeling and allow it to slowly help you understand your situation more fully inform your response to it.
Keep your expectations real. We can fantasize glorious outcomes for our actions. Such fantasies may help motivate us to do extraordinary things. But, unrealistic expectations are very difficult to release. Keep your expectations as real as your situation. Fantasy may be fun just don’t plan your life around it.
Recognize the Good Stuff in your Life. Practice gratitude by recognizing the things that you have accomplished and the gifts you have been given. Such gratitude tends to allow humility room in our soul and encourage hope to grow.
Finally, stay real with yourself, both the good and bad. Most unrealistic expectations grow out of self-deception. Strive for humility, knowing yourself just as you are, and hope will be able flourish even when the ground is cold and hard.
Thoughts are not real. Thinking something does not make it true. Expectations are simply thoughts about how something might work out. The ideas of defeat or victory that sweep through our mind are mere thoughts and are no more real than a daydream. Do not invest too much energy in the random thoughts that fill your mind as your expectations come to life and, just as quickly, fade.
Be brave enough to wait out a feeling. Do not dismiss your feelings or act on them too quickly. When we experience disappointment, it can overwhelm our lives and we are prone to either drown in it or act too quickly to overcome it. Step back from that feeling and allow it to slowly help you understand your situation more fully inform your response to it.
Keep your expectations real. We can fantasize glorious outcomes for our actions. Such fantasies may help motivate us to do extraordinary things. But, unrealistic expectations are very difficult to release. Keep your expectations as real as your situation. Fantasy may be fun just don’t plan your life around it.
Recognize the Good Stuff in your Life. Practice gratitude by recognizing the things that you have accomplished and the gifts you have been given. Such gratitude tends to allow humility room in our soul and encourage hope to grow.
Finally, stay real with yourself, both the good and bad. Most unrealistic expectations grow out of self-deception. Strive for humility, knowing yourself just as you are, and hope will be able flourish even when the ground is cold and hard.
RSS Feed