Of all the voices in our internal dialogue, among the loudest is that of our parents. The parental voice is among the oldest memories most of us carry with us on a daily basis. If that voice was highly critical and unable to be satisfied, we may struggle with our own self-worth. If it was nurturing and encouraging, we will likely find an ally when we face difficult moments. But for most of us, that voice, like our parents, is a little of both. When these voices become critical of us, we need to seek out a particular type of self-care, self-forgiveness.
Memories are more than stories. We also remember the feelings and sensations we experienced. To remember is to re-member the many parts of the original experience, body-mind-soul into a new experience. A painful memory will include some very powerful emotions. These may include intense fear, deep sadness, paralyzing shame, or any number of other feelings. We may not be able to recover a narrative of the memory, but a sensation (sight, sound, aroma, tactile sensation) can trigger an emotional memory. However, the emotion can also trigger those physical sensations as well as a narrative. When our boss tells us that we are just not living up to his or her expectations, we may hear our parents talking to us about our report card.
Thus, remembering painful moments can cripple us. It can steal our self-confidence and even prevent it from ever developing. It can fill us with shame or anger or fear. Because of it we may beat ourselves up over and over. Something triggers a single part of the memory and we begin re-membering being a child all over again.
These soul memories need to be addressed. The most effective avenue is through self-forgiveness.
Memories are more than stories. We also remember the feelings and sensations we experienced. To remember is to re-member the many parts of the original experience, body-mind-soul into a new experience. A painful memory will include some very powerful emotions. These may include intense fear, deep sadness, paralyzing shame, or any number of other feelings. We may not be able to recover a narrative of the memory, but a sensation (sight, sound, aroma, tactile sensation) can trigger an emotional memory. However, the emotion can also trigger those physical sensations as well as a narrative. When our boss tells us that we are just not living up to his or her expectations, we may hear our parents talking to us about our report card.
Thus, remembering painful moments can cripple us. It can steal our self-confidence and even prevent it from ever developing. It can fill us with shame or anger or fear. Because of it we may beat ourselves up over and over. Something triggers a single part of the memory and we begin re-membering being a child all over again.
These soul memories need to be addressed. The most effective avenue is through self-forgiveness.
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