​Most folks, under normal circumstances, enjoy a bit of a mental challenge.  We like puzzles that take “figuring out” and challenges that demand that we re-think our approach to a problem.  We like keeping the brain sharp and active.
 
But, from time to time, we run into a situation that feels like a mighty mental headwind that threatens to topple our sails.  We find ourselves unable to make any headway.  The more we think  about the problem, the less we understand.  The deeper we go into the problem, the murkier our thinking becomes.  Currents and cross currents of thoughts and observations confound our progress.  Anger, frustration, blaming, and pity begin to grow in our soul.
 
Our training teaches us that every problem has a solution.   Our life experience tells us that patience has a way of resolving our challenges.  Life coaches tell us to persevere because we only lose when we give up.  But I want to suggest that these may not be your best options for self-care when facing the mental headwinds of life.
 
Sometimes, these headwinds feel a lot like confusion, when beliefs and reality do not fit together.  Such as “Work harder and you will make more money.”  or “Always do your best and you will succeed.”  We may discover that we have confused our beliefs with facts.  Our new circumstances may show our beliefs to be mere assumptions about the real world and not reality themselves.  Perseverance, patience, and training will not make the confusion go away.
 
Sometimes we are stymied when our minds are overwhelmed by remembering.  We want to get past a challenge but we have this continuous loop of memories rolling in our mind.  These memories create a log jam and, until they are cleared, we will get nowhere.  Again, no amount of perseverance, patience, or training will clear those memories.
 
Another headwind that holds us back is the non sequitur,  when what I want and what is possible do not follow.   It is not so much that “we can’t get there from here” as “the only road is closed.”  Our desires outstrip our reality.  We can persevere, be exceedingly patient, and get all the training available and yet it can remain just as impossible.  “Hustle” does not guarantee success.
 
And sometimes we encounter the most difficult mental headwind or all, we have arrived at the wrong answer.  1 + 1 will never equal 6.  Such headwinds require that we face the fact that we are flat out wrong!  Perseverance, patience, and training will not change that fact.  Resistance is futile.  At the end of the day we will still be wrong.
 
When facing the mental headwinds our first response it to double down, try harder, wait it out, and learn more.  But for these particular headwinds, we will only experience greater frustration and spiritual dis-ease.  Self-care suggests dealing with them differently.

Identify the Headwind – This may take stepping back and sleeping on it.  It is not simple patience where we wait for something to change.   It is giving us room to see and come to terms with the challenge before us.    It allows us to get enough distance in order to see the direction of the headwind and gauge it’s strength.
 
Trim your Sails to Reduce the Drag – This is nothing more than simplifying  the process.   Am I trying to do or say too much?  Sometimes we have contaminated the process with extraneous stuff like defending our ego or overcoming a failure from our past.  Let go of your need for a particular outcome and allow the problem to lead you where it chooses.  Sometimes we not only want to succeed, we want to prove something along the way. Letting go of the latter makes the former much easier.
 
Chart a New Course - Accept the answer, or lack thereof, and move on.  Once we have identified the headwind and trimmed our sails, we need to decide on the next step.  Change direction and do our best, recognizing that this does not guarantee that we will have clear sailing ahead.
 
Self-Care when facing mental challenges become vital.  Without it anger, frustration, shame, guilt, and all manner of things can steal your joy and hope as well as make love and trust more difficult.  Take care of yourself and sail on.

Defensive Perseverance
 
Genuine Patience
 
On Being Wrong

​70 hour weeks with a couple of 16 hour days thrown in.  Sitting at the bedside of a very ill family member for days on end.  Facing an empty bank account and bills that keep on coming.  Realizing that we have at least another month of work on a project that is due next week.  Being jolted awake by the sound of your car tires hitting the rumble strip on the side of the highway.
 
These are examples of some of the headwinds that our body may face.  They, among a host of others, challenge our physical stamina and abilities.  They cause doubt and fear to rise from deep within.  When faced with these difficult headwinds, most of us remember words such as those below. 
 
“Set forth no limits, keep in mind that your potential is boundless.” 
― Sal Martinez
 
“There are no limits to what you can do. You are only limited by your thoughts.” 
― Debasish Mridha
 
These come from the “lean-in-and-push-on-through” school of thought.  When the headwinds blow we lean in and work harder.  Why?  Because there are no limits to what we can do if we have the will power.  It is one aspect of the power of positive thinking movement that has become a cornerstone of pop psychology and modern motivational coaching.
 
Unfortunately, this is founded on a false premise.  There are limits.  Our bodies cannot take unlimited abuse.  They do break down.  If we are lucky these breakdowns happen sooner rather than later so that we can back-off before we do permanent damage.  Unfortunately, our bodies are very resilient and we may not experience the breakdown until we have permanently damaged our body.  There are physical limits and they can cause lasting harm.
 
However, this does not mean we have to live our lives cushioned from every discomfort or avoiding pushing our stamina or physical capacities.  It simply means we have to pay attention to the limits.  We have to know ourselves and the boundaries that are part of who we are.
 
Marathon Runners report that after the initial high of running, the body begins to tire.  They have learned to run through this period because the body will replenish the energy from stored reserves.  However, these reserves cannot be replaced.  When these reserves begin to run out the body fights to keep going.  This causes irreparable harm.  The successful marathoner knows their body well enough to be able to distinguish between the first “wall” from the second more dangerous wall.
 
This principle applies to all of the scenarios above.  Some folks are able to sustain 70 work weeks for a short time.  But, in time, it will begin to effect the quality of their work and the rest of their lives.  After several weeks of being at their bedside resentment begins to creep into their inner conversation.  When the money runs out before the bills they can either start using their high interest credit cards like cash or they can sit down with a financial planner and find a better path.  When the due date is a lot closer than the completion date they will need to find ways to adjust both or walk away from the project all together.  When the rumble strip interrupts their unintended nap, they can force their eyes open and grip the steering wheel tighter or pull over and get some rest.
 
Unless we push ourselves to and through the first wall, we will never know what we can do.  But pushing ourselves to and beyond that second wall will turn out badly.  There are limits.  Learn yours and know when to slow down.

​Learn your limits by listening to your body.  Discover the signs of when you are tired and when you are exhausted.  How does your mood change when you become exhausted?  What about your ability to concentrate?  How do you deal with minor physical ailments like colds or turned ankles?  How does having people around you make you feel?  How are you able to deal with disappointments or setbacks?  Is the pain merely tolerable is does it take a great deal of your concentration and energy to cope with it?  Each of these may indicate that you are reaching your point of exhaustion.  Everyone is different so we each have to learn these from the only teacher we have, our own body.
 
Push the boundary but watch out for signs that you have reached your limits.  Just knowing our limits will not help unless we have the discipline to listen and act responsibly with that information.  As the old song goes, “Know when to hold’em and know when to fold’em” is only the first step.  Sometimes we will try and push through that second wall because of our ego, a misplaced sense of competition,  a lack of clarity about what is truly important, a need to please someone else, or a need to risk it all in order to feel worthwhile.  Our reasons can be many.  We really do not have to know why.  All that is required is to accept the evidence of our body and do what is best for it.
 
Having a personal trainer or trusted friend to help you see when you reach your limits.  Most successful athletes trace their success to a coach or coaches.  The good coach is concerned about the athletes success in the long run.  They do not push them farther than is healthy or sustainable.  Having a coach or a trusted friend to help you discover your limitations and act responsibly with that information can and will make all the difference.  They will “see” things you miss and will help you hold yourself accountable for your goals, hopes, and dreams.
 
Physically, we are our body.  It has limits.  By discovering these boundaries we will be able to know when to lean in and push on as well as when slow down and allow our body to heal.  Take good care of your body.  Your life depends on it!
 
Bob

Hitting the Wall
 
Signs of Overtraining
 
Sustainable Exercise
​

​The day is relatively clear and the winds are light.    Life is good.  No troubles just an easy hike along the canyon’s rim.  We have time to relax and enjoy the scenery.  We can absorb the moment without worries or concerns.
 
The clouds in the distance begin a slow billow.  Their underside begins to darken and the light winds are becoming a bit of a breeze.  We know it is time to head home, straight into the storm.  Life is about to get interesting!
 
Most of us like a gentle breeze.  We would prefer that our day-to-day lives be as calm and manageable as possible.  But storms do happen.  We will have no choice but to face headwinds and do the best we can.  The question is not how to avoid the storms but how do we make life worthwhile in the midst of them?  It is not simply about hanging on and surviving.  Can we actually find a way to thrive in the midst of the occasional storms, when headwinds and heavy rain challenge our hope and joy? 
 
I refuse to accept that life is only possible, or even at its best, when we are free of storms.  Every moment between birth and death is a gift that we can either unwrap or toss aside unopened.  There are certainly some moments we would prefer pass more quickly than others, but each moment is an opportunity.  Over the next few weeks I want to explore ways that we can continue to grow into greater love and trust, joy and hope when are facing the headwinds of life!

​Have you noticed how more and more cars are looking like a Prius?  This is the result of good aerodynamics that reduces drag and increases fuel efficiency.  It is certainly not because of style!  The easiest way to deal with a headwind is to reduce the drag.
 
Over the next three weeks I will explore ways to reduce the drag that the storms of life create for us, body-mind-soul.  Hopefully you will be able to find ways to slip through those difficult moments without losing your love and trust, joy or hope.
 
These will not be tips for surviving storms, but for enjoying life even in the middle of them.  By reducing the drag we, hopefully, will have enough energy left over to enjoy the lightening and the sound of rain.  I invite you to walk with me as we discover the gifts of life even when facing the strongest headwinds.

How to Tell You Are Facing a Headwind
 
Thriving in Difficult Times
 
3 Lessons about Living Through Hard Times
 

​For the last few weeks I have been exploring how we can take care of ourselves as the Summer routine begins.  I have talked about engaging, reflecting, and finding joy in this season.  None of this will be helpful if we let the Summer slip by, unnoticed and unacknowledged.  Therefore, my final word about self-care while rolling into Summer is “Celebrate!”
 
Celebrate means to acknowledge with joy.  It means to open up the body-mind-soul and rejoice in the season.  The word originates in the idea of bringing honor to someone or something.  Honoring in word only is an empty gesture.  But when we honor in body-mind-soul, we truly rejoice and are filled in the process.
 
The following quote speaks well of our celebrations of life.
 
“I truly believe we can either see the connections, celebrate them, and express gratitude for our blessings, or we can see life as a string of coincidences that have no meaning or connection.
For me, I’m going to believe in miracles, celebrate life, rejoice in the views of eternity and hope my choices will create a positive ripple effect in the lives of others. This is my choice.”  ~ Mike Ericksen
 
Make your choice this Summer.  Celebrate Life!
 

Open your senses to the little surprises, like the sweetness of the watermelon or the dripping of a Summer shower through the trees.  Celebrate the glorious sunsets and the vast canopy of the Milky Way. 
 
Open your mind to new insights taught by chance encounters along your path.  Listen carefully as the shade of the Pecan Tree offers you a respite from the Summer heat.  Revel in the ideas that come together when your mind has the time to relax and “ponder the universe.”
 
Open your soul to the love of those around you.  Spend time with family and friends.  Share and accept the gifts of love and friendship and companionship.  Let the moments together bind old wounds and open up new vistas to be explored together.
 
Choose to Celebrate Life this Summer!

A Celtic Blessing to Celebrate Life
 
Bless this house and those within.
Bless our giving and receiving.
Bless our words and conversation.
Bless our hands and recreation.
Bless our sowing and our growing.
Bless our coming and our going.
Bless all who enter and depart.
Bless this house, your peace impart.

~ John Birch
 
For More Celtic Blessings