Last week we began our exploration of weariness, being tired beyond tired.  It is the price we pay for pushing ourselves way beyond our limits for an extended period of time.  We feel it in our body-mind-soul.  This week we will explore body weariness.

What are some of the signs we are body weary?  We may feel a deep tiredness that will not go away.  We may fall asleep within minutes of putting our head on the pillow and then feel just as tired when we wake up the next morning.  Our muscles and joints may be strained and aching.  We may have an unusual back or shoulder pain.  We may find ourselves gaining weight unexpectedly due to less activity and more “comfort” eating.  We may experience more frequent infections or intestinal problems

This is the ransom we must pay for taking our body beyond the reasonable limits.  We cannot ignore these signs if we want to regain our vitality.  To do so will place us at risk for a chronic fatigue that will be even more difficult to address.  Unfortunately, our times encourage us to ignore them and keep on going.  We may be afraid of losing our job or not being able to pay the bills.  Our ego may resist accepting the physical limits due to age or circumstances.  We may feel the need to prove that we are just as strong as the guy or gal next door.  We may feel that if we don’t keep going, our family or friends will be disappointed in us.  But, none of these are worth ruining our health. 

Self-care is about recognizing and accepting responsibility for our choices and consequences.  When you are body weary, it is time for a little GBC (Gentle Body Care).  Most of the time, following the tips below will help the body recover.  But, body weariness seldom occurs in a vacuum.  GBC will not help a great deal unless we deal with the effects of our weariness on our mind and soul also.  But GBC may be a good place to start.

Here are several ways that you can offer yourself a little BGC.

Light to Moderate Exercise to promote Rest – Complete inactivity is only called for when you have physically injured something.  Short of this, a little exercise will help your body relax and get prepared for healing rest.  A walk around the block, a few minutes of stretching, or yoga can allow the tension that has built up in your body to relax. 

Establish a Bedtime Routine – Start a simple routine for bed time.  It may include personal grooming like a quiet bath or shower.  Perhaps you may want to read or watch TV. It could include a small snack or glass of milk.  The important element is to help the body prepare itself for rest.  The routine allows the “going-to-sleep” process to flow naturally out of your day so that you avoid tossing and turning “trying to get to sleep.”  Do not turn over and try to sleep until your body says it is ready.

Progressive Relaxation – In those times when sleep will not come try a little progressive relaxation.  This is simply being present to the tension and aches and pains in the body and allowing them to ease.  Lay on your back and attend to each part of your body.  It is usually suggested that we begin with our feet and identify each bit of tension and discomfort.  You might imagine that tension being the color red and relax that tension until it changes to blue.  Work up through your body until you reach the tips of your fingers.  This may assist your body in finding a sense of quiet and calm.

Fresh Fruits and Veggies – One last tip for dealing with body weariness is watching what and how you eat.  Add more fresh fruits and vegetables to your daily diet.  Cut down on the heavy carbs (especially heavily processed carbs).  Do not over-do the proteins. Eat smaller meals more frequently and more slowly.  Allow your meal time to be a time of quiet relaxing rather than a quick refueling before returning to the battle.

If you simply cannot move beyond the weariness, consult your physician and explore medical causes and solutions.  The consequences of pushing ourselves too far beyond our limits can have dire consequences.  Accept responsibility and deal with your weariness.  Take time for some GBC.

Slow Down

One Day A Week

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Some days are just not worth getting out of bed!  It has nothing to do with my schedule for the day.  It has very little to do with how I expect my day to unfold.  It is not about anything outside of my body-mind-soul.  It is all about what is going on inside of me.

This is about a body that screams “No!” every time I ask it to move.  Turning over in bed is a challenge.  It is about being too tired to even think about being tired.  The mind just wants to vegetate.  The soul languishes somewhere between caring a little and not caring about anything, at all!  Chuck Berry called it being “Too pooped to pop!”  I call it weariness.

This is something more than being tired.  When I am tired it is usually because I have put in a good day at work or accomplished something.  Several Years ago, Marlene and I decided to climb Enchanted Rock in Central Texas.  We had tried a year earlier and I could not make it to the top.  But after a year of taking better care of myself, we made it!  I was really, really tired but able to celebrate the moment.  This is tired.  But weariness is so much more.

Weary means exhaustion, extraordinary tiredness.   It can be debilitating.   Weariness often encourages a sense of hopelessness.  We can be tired and feel good about what we have accomplished.  But weariness seldom carries any joy.  Weariness has the feel of utter defeat and demands a ransom from our body-mind-soul.  That ransom must be paid before weariness will loosen its grip on our lives.

Over the next few weeks we will be exploring the ransoms that must be paid if we are to rise from our beds ready to take on the day with energy and joy.  Being too pooped to pop requires an extra dose or three of TLC.  But, the sun will rise in our body-mind-soul if we pay attention to our weariness.

A Weariness Self-Assessment – How Weary Are You?

Rate the following 1-5  (1 = “&%$# No” and 5 = “Absolutely, Yes!”)

Do you struggle to get out of bed?

1          2          3          4          5

Do you find it difficult to go through your daily routines?  (Your auto-pilot does not engage.)

1          2          3          4          5

Do conversations become nearly impossible to follow?

1          2          3          4          5

Is it difficult to concentrate on complex tasks?

1          2          3          4          5

Do the slightest irritations set off a cascade of emotional responses?

1          2          3          4          5

Have you had enough?

1          2          3          4          5

When you crawl in bed do you believe that tomorrow will be just as bad, or worse than, today?

1          2          3          4          5

Scoring:

<10 = Likely Tired (Take it easy for a while)

10-20 = Very Tired (Take a break)

20-25 = Very, Very Tired (Time for a Vacation)

>25 = Weariness has likely set in.  (Time for a lot of TLC)

How Tired is Tired from WebMD

Beyond Tired from APA

You are Not Alone

My Mother had great plans for me.  My earliest memories of my Mom are at the old upright piano in our living room.  She would play and I would sing.  She always wanted me to become a musician and for her that meant learning to play the piano.

I went through several piano teachers while growing up.  I learned to play with both hands, but not at the same time.  My Mother had the same solution to the problem every time I came home from a lesson.  It was a word that sounded like fingernails on a black board.  “Practice!  Practice!  Practice!”  I still cringe when I hear those words.

Unfortunately, I did not listen.  But 50 years later, I have learned something from it.  “Just because it was your mother who said it, does not make it wrong!”

When our lives are going well and we are not stressed or tired or bored, we tend to let our healthy disciplines slip a bit.  We may back off the exercise or eat that extra cookie.  We may push ourselves harder than necessary.  But the disciplines that help us become healthy require regular practice in order to keep us healthy. 

Practice! Practice! Practice!

Healthy Discipline is a learned and well-practiced behavior.  It may not take the intense practice that is required when we are learning a discipline or skill, but it does need to be practiced on a less frequent but routine basis.

This requires that we;

·      recognize that the discipline is important,

·      commit ourselves to maintaining it, and

·      then actually do it. 

Recognize – Commit – Do it!  Sounds simple.  But as you already know, it isn’t!

When all is well, make time to care for yourself.  Tough times will come.  By having a well-practiced routine for self-care, you will find your path back to wellness a little less steep.

“Practice! Practice! Practice!”

A self-care calendar will help you get into the routine of whatever disciplines help you stay healthy.  By placing them on the calendar, you are assuming responsibility for and regulating the frequency and duration of your self-care. 

Schedule a time for your weekly or bi-weekly run/walk.  Set aside time for you to read a book or spend time surfing Wikipedia.  Find a place in your week for time to take that long bath or quite time in your favorite chair.  Whatever discipline helps you say healthy, make an entry on your calendar.

Also, recognize that stuff happens and you may not be able to get to it at the appointed time.  If you are using a digital calendar, simply drag and drop the event to a new time and place in that week.  If you find yourself dragging and dropping the same even over and over, perhaps you need to e-examine that discipline.  You may have lost your heart for it and need to find a new one that will serve the same purpose.

Regardless, by placing your self-care disciplines on a calendar, you are taking responsibility for your own self-care.  You can keep them current and fresh.  You will know when they have gone stale and can change them.  You are taking control of and responsible to yourself for your health. 

May you “Live long and prosper.”

7 Discipline Mastering Practices

Using Your iPhone Calendar

The Origins of “Live Long and Prosper”

This is the fourth in our discussions of self-care when all is well.  We have explored ways to care for the body and the mind.  This week I want to explore ways that we can take care of our soul, the deepest, inner experiences that we have of our ourselves and the world around us.  This is the realm of the “lions, tigers, and bears” of life.

The key to soul care is to stay open to the mystery and the awe it evokes in the human spirit.  Writers have referred to this as the great unknowing or that which both draws us in and causes us to tremble.  It may be the moment when we held our child for the first time.  It may be a moment when the sunset swept through your soul with a wave of sudden stillness.  It could be a moment when you became lost in the eyes of your beloved.  Such moments offer our soul a brief respite from the day to day bumps and bruises of life.  They soothe the savage beast  within and bring peace and wholeness to a life being pulled apart.

Unfortunately, we lose our of sense of mystery in the day-to-day business of living.  We learn to stop asking questions that do not serve our daily necessities.  We avoid looking at the margins or into the shadows because there is too much to deal with that has no apparent practical implications for living.  We have little time for art, music, or poetry because we have a “life to live.”

But, when things are going well and life is running on a more or less even keel, you may want to spend a little time rediscovering mystery in your life.  Pay attention to the world on the periphery of your daily living.  Listen to the music rather than use it to cover up the silence.  Allow the colors of the sunset to resonate with the deep chords of your life.  Look into the eyes of the one who walks at your side and feel the stirrings of re-belonging that rises up from the depths.

Such moments not only allow us to lay aside the worries and fears of the day, but reawaken the desire live deeply, meaningfully, and fully.  They draw us in and lead us out into a world where wonder, awe, and mystery become companions in our daily walk.  Re-discover mystery!

Just as our mind and body need regular rest in sleep, our soul needs time to step back from the fray of daily living.  We need a regular time to listen to the inner synphony and allow the soul to rest calmly in the unknowing, the mystery.

Traditionally, this is called meditation.  If you already have a meditative practice that works for you, use it regularly, daily if possible.  Let it help you to find that inner sense of peace and calm.  If you do not, here is an idea you can use.


Go to   12 Steps to Meditation at Mindbodygreen.com

Why Meditate?

MindBodyGreen.com

6 Steps to Meditation