​One of the caricatures of retirement is the long nap.  While I am a great fan of naps and have used and continue to rely on them for self-care, retirement is not a time to go to sleep.   We may take a few more naps, but in retirement we need to develop the discipline of “waking up” more than ever. 
 
Without the mental stimulation of our work and regular contact with other people, we can easily slip into a sort of walking nap.  We no longer challenge the mind with questions and conundrums.  We may stop exploring and grappling with the world around us.  We may allow our mind to accept the day-to-day events at face value and simply do not want to be bothered with challenges and inconsistencies.  Many may feel that they have done their part and now they just want to be left alone.  Welcome to the walking nap.
 
I have not seen any articles that argues for a link between dementia and an inactive mind, but many believe that keeping the mind alert and active may delay the onset of dementia or lessen its impact on our lives.  Others have suggested that by improving the mind’s ability to wrestle with daily life we will extend the time that we can be self-sufficient and live independently.  There is no doubt that we will live a more socially active and engaging life when we are able to stay curious and engaged in our daily activities.
 
What does “staying awake” in retirement look like?  It means staying current with the news around us.  It means staying in touch with family and friends regularly.  If we have spent a lifetime working with our hands, it may mean keeping busy with physical projects.  If we have been engaged in the people-business, it may mean continuing to engage in relationships beyond our family and finding ways to increase our interactions.  If we have spent a lifetime reading or working quietly on our own, it may mean signing up for a Kindle Unlimited Account and keep on reading.  Staying fully awake may even mean reaching out beyond our life-long patterns and engaging the world in new and alternate ways. 
 
It is very easy to let the naps take over our lives.  But in retirement, our lives depend on staying engaged, alert, and mentally active.  In short, stay awake!  Or, if you have found yourself slipping away, “Wake up!”

​Pursue your interests and/or develop new ones.
 
Look upon your retirement as a time to more actively pursue the hobbies you have been enjoying for many years.  Take a class or two and hone your existing skills.  Expand your knowledge and find new ways of enjoying your hobby(ies).  If your existing interests no longer bring you joy, look for new ways to experience and enhance your everyday life.  While working, we may have allowed our work to shape our choice of hobbies by choosing something that would serve “double-duty”.  But in retirement, we have the time to explore other interests.  If they light up our days, then pursue them.  If not, move on and try something else.  Do not be afraid to explore areas that you never thought you would like.  Freed from the constraints of pleasing an employer or client, explore your wants and needs.  There may be a whole new world within you that is about to be revealed.
 
Allow Time for Reflection
 
Retirement offers one gift that we have never really had before, a long lifetime of experiences ready to be explored.  In retirement we have the opportunity to look back and grow through our remembered experiences.  This does not mean we have to write a memoir or piece together a scrapbook, though either may be possibilities if we are so inclined.  Rather, simply spend time with family and old friends to explore the “good old days.”  Look back through your pictures or memorabilia and let the stories tell themselves.  Do not be afraid of asking about and exploring life-lessons learned and opportunities that may have slipped through unnoticed.  Reflection allows us to embrace our lives as we actually lived it.  It will likely lead us to seek forgiveness from ourselves and celebrate the good that has been an important part of our journey.  Either way it can offer us a path to the peace we deserve.
 
Time for Mentoring and Sharing
 
Lastly, retirement offers us an opportunity to reach out to younger folks with mentoring and sharing. 
 
This does not mean lecturing them about the way it was done in the good old days.  This does not mean telling the younger generation that they are incredibly inept and unworthy of the world that was left to them.  This does not mean expecting them to lean on every word you speak as it was uttered by the voice of a god. 
 
It does mean listening and being a voice of encouragement in their lives.  It does mean recognizing that they have things to teach us and we respect them enough to listen to what they have to say.  It does mean that we will communicate our willingness to place the world in their hands and trust that they will grow through their mistakes just as we did.   We do not expect perfection, only faithfulness to the future.  We do not expect obedience, only engagement for the good of others.  In mentoring and sharing, we will tie the bow around a life well-lived.
 
By staying awake, we will increase the love and trust, joy and hope in our lives and help those who follow to embrace these healthy values as well.
 
Live well, my friends.  We can still make a difference!
 
Bob Dees

An Active Mind
 
Staying Awake
 
Mind Exercise

​A friend warned me many years ago, “Be careful when you turn 60.  That’s when your body starts taking revenge on you for all the abuse you have done to it.”
 
In some ways this is all too true.   There is much to recommend living a long life, but as with anything else, it comes with a cost.  Physically we discover that we face new challenges and must learn to focus on taking care of ourselves in ways that we took for granted when we were younger.  Generally, this means watching what we eat, developing a routine for exercise, getting enough restful sleep, and receiving regular medical and dental care.
 
If you are under 60, we can begin developing these healthier habits and improving our odds at making a healthy transition into retirement.  However, many of us put this off, preferring to push ourselves and our luck. 
 
As we prepare for or enter retirement, it is imperative that we wake up to the realities of aging.   We need to recognize that in retirement we will be tempted to be less active.   However, our bodies will demand that we become even more engaged in physical self-care.  The following tips are intended to start you on a path toward improving your body’s health as you prepare for and enter retirement.  As the old adage says, “We only get one body, make the most of it.”

​First, get a thorough check up.  Many people will have improved access to healthcare at age 65.  Take advantage of this and talk to your doctor about a complete physical check-up.  This will allow you and your doctor to establish a baseline for your physical condition.  It may help you discover the challenges that you will face in retirement.  Even if you are feeling good and do not have any significant issues, speak to your doctor and develop a plan for getting all the systems checked out.
 
Second, take a good look at your lifestyle.  When our schedules open up with retirement, we may let go of the self-disciplines that served us well while we were working.  We may start staying up later or sleeping in.  We may nibble our way through the day and/or skip meals.  We may be tempted to plant ourselves in front of the TV or Computer.  Most of us know what we need to do to stay healthy in retirement.  The trick is in being honest with ourselves and establishing a new set of routines that will help us stay healthy.  Make some intentional choices about your lifestyle and then allow those intentions to guide your day-to-day choices.
 
Third, when our health faces a challenge, get it taken care of as soon as possible.  Older bodies are less forgiving.  With a less effective immune system comes an increased risk of serious health issues.  Pneumonia can develop much quicker.  We cannot afford to let stuff slide as we get older.  The risks are too great.
 
Finally, give yourself permission to enjoy your retirement.  Unless there are major reason not to, enjoy a cookie and milk as a mid-day snack.  Just do not eat the bag.  Watch an interesting TV show.  Just do not binge watch a whole season in a day.  If you want to stay up and watch a ballgame then do so.  But allow yourself to sleep in the next day.  If you want to get up before day break to get to your tee time, give yourself permission to either take a nap when you get home of make an early night of it.  In short, go ahead and make exceptions to your lifestyle choices but do not make the exceptions the new rule. 
 
Get a check-up.  Choose a healthier lifestyle.  Take care of the small problems.  Enjoy your retirement.  When we accept responsibility for our physical well-being in retirement, we will find that we are better able to deal with the “revenge-taking” that comes with aging.  These tips will not protect you from the costs of living a long life, but they will make you more resilient and better prepared to deal with physical issues when they arise.  To quote a modern sage, “Live long and prosper!”
 
Bob

Dealing with Early Retirement
 
Boosting Longevity
 
Staying Fit in Retirement

​Whether we care about someone who is thinking about retiring,  pondering our retirement, preparing for retirement, or already retired we do not lose our need for self-care.
 
I retired 15 months ago am not an expert of retirement.  I am just another 65-year-old who is learning to navigate life without a daily job to pay the bills and fill the calendar.  However, I have had many conversations with people who are preparing for, entering, or already retired.  They have shared their wisdom and experiences with me and have helped my find may way.  For the next few weeks I want to share some of what I have learned from them and from my own experiences. 
 
I want to begin by dispelling some common misunderstandings that I and many others had and have about retirement.  It is not all rainbows and sunshine.  But neither is it all loneliness and boredom.  It is a change, and, to some extent, it brings its share of losses and gains, challenges and opportunities.  I have grieved over some of the losses and been pleasantly surprised by the pleasant surprises.  In short, do not be too sure that you understand what your retirement will be like.  Do not let your fears or expectations cloud your understanding.  In many ways, retirement is a foreign land that will reveal itself only when we have begun to explore and experience it.
 
The modern practice of retirement is a recognition that people’s needs and abilities change as they age or experience a disability.  Further, it is a recognition that society is grateful for their service to the community through their lifetime of work.  The history of how retirement came about is informative and would warrant a Goggle Search.  (See the link below.)  However, retirement can be a challenge for folks who derive a large part of their meaning and value from their work.  It can be felt as a threat for those of us who like our day to day routines and cannot imagine life without a schedule.  Retirement can also be difficult for those whose community is almost entirely work-related.  Further, not everyone has the opportunity to choose their retirement.  Their employer may adhere to a strict mandatory retirement age which can complicate all of the above and make retirement a major life threat.   These situations will offer particular challenges to self-care as we prepare for and enter retirement.  I will do my best to remain aware of these in the next few weeks.
 
Regardless of your circumstances, many folks ask tough questions when the time for retirement appears on the horizon.  How do I know I am ready for retirement?  Do I really want to make all the changes that retirement requires?  What would I do with my days in retirement?  What can I do if I do not want to retire?  What if my body says “Retire!” but my mind is just not ready?  How can I make the most of what I have and still retire?
 
FYI, I will not be offering financial advice on retirement.  Consult a trusted financial adviser as you prepare for retirement.

Our first tip is how to deal with the big question everyone must answer for themselves, “How do I know if I am ready to retire?”
 
To begin with, retirement is not really a choice like buying clothes.   It is one possible response that is suggested by what is happening in our lives.  Few people simply decide to retire.  It is something we accept as a reasonable response to changes happening in our lives.  I worked in ministry for 39 years.  To the day I retired, I loved being a Pastor and a Hospice Chaplain.  But in the last two years I became aware that while I loved being involved in this work, but I did not want to do it anymore.  This was a change that I never expected.  Many of us come to a point in our working lives when something changes and the joy, the deep commitment, the thrill just seemed to evaporate.  For me, I felt it when I found myself lingering in bed and no longer felt the call to ministry dragging me into my day.  Others have described similar feelings about the last few years before they retired.
 
Here are a few questions to help you examine whether you may be ready to retire.
 

• Have you started asking yourself if it is time to retire?

 

• Have you had frequent inner conversations about not going to work recently?

 

• Do you have the financial resources to maintain an acceptable standard of living without your paycheck?

 

• Are you feeling drawn into exploring other elements in your life?  Relationships?  Travel?  Hobbies? 

 

• Do you feel your employer values your contribution?

 

• Do you continue to value your contribution to your employer, profession, business?

 

• Does your work bring you joy?

Wikipedia Article on Retirement
 
How Retirement was Invented
 
20 Subtle Signs You Are Not Ready to Retire
 
Are You Emotionally Ready to Retire?

​Today I begin my fourth year of writing Self-Care Notes.  This is my 150th note about discovering ways we can take care of ourselves under circumstances that are both enjoyable and challenging.  To those who are still hanging in there with me I offer a heartfelt thanks.  To those who have come and gone, I pray that they found something that was worthwhile during their time with us.  I will continue to write, explore, and share ways that we can enhance our whole lives, body-mind-soul.
 
As has been my custom, on the anniversary Self-Care Note, to provide an opportunity to step back and make an assessment about our body-mind-soul health.  This year I will offer a few questions that you can explore for yourself.  Think back a year and ask yourself how you might have answered these same questions last year or even five years ago.  If you have grown in your ability to share love and trust, you can likely say you have strengthened you body-mind-soul.  If you have a growing sense of joy and hope in your life, then you can likely say you are better off now than you were back then.
 
Again, thank you for walking with me along this path.  I look forward to sharing the next 50 notes with you as we head toward year five.
 
Blessings,
Bob

Do You Enjoy Those Little Chats You Have with Yourself?
We all have a continuing dialogue in our heads.  Our body gives us updates of the world around us and the physical world within us.  The mind pulls up memories and ideas to help us find meaning in our moments.  The soul shares our emotional inner experiences and gives us the energy to make decisions and choose our paths.  These three-part conversations can become quite difficult, especially when we find our relationships and situations are complicated.  Rather than trying to untangle all of this simply ask yourself, do you enjoy the conversations between you body-mind-soul?  Do they bring you good and positive experiences?  Do they help you through difficult relationships and circumstances?  Does your inner conversation increase your capacity for love and trust, joy and hope?
 
How Do Your Relationships Feel?   Love and Trust
How do your connections with family, friends, neighbors, and strangers feel?   Do they encourage you to share in and strengthen other’s lives or do they turn you inward and increase your self-concern?  Do your day-to-day interactions with family, friends, neighbors, or strangers foster trust or distrust?
 
How Are You Handling Complicated Situations?  Joy and Hope
When you encounter challenging situations does your inner conversation offer you joy and hope, or deep sadness and despair?  These situations may grow out of disappointments, failure, shame, or loss.  How does your inner voice respond to them?  Do your day-to-day lives foster joy and hope?
 
Are You Happy?
Finally, a simple, straightforward question.  Are you happy?  Are you happier now than you were 1 year ago?  5 years ago?  10 years ago?
 
If you feel that you could have a deeper concern for others (love) and a greater ability to be close to others (trust) as well as a deeper joy and hope in life, I encourage you to consider finding a Spiritual Director.  Below is a link to explore Spiritual Direction. 

To Explore Spiritual Direction
 
To Find a Spiritual Director in Your Area
 
Video on Spiritual Health