​For the last few weeks I have been exploring ways to take care of ourselves while at work.  One of the reasons this topic is necessary and timely is a false distinction we draw between our work lives and our lives at play.  (I know that most of us would not define our non-work time as play time, but this is the crux of the problem.)  We have compartmentalized our lives between work, chores, family, recreation, vacation, etc. etc.  We have established different expectations and modes of operation for each.  This sets the stage for role conflicts, time conflicts, ethical conflicts, and divided loyalties.  As the old wisdom says, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”  And many of us are sliced, diced and divided so much that we have to figure out which hat we are wearing before we can answer a simple question.
 
As you consider your self-care at work, I will ask you to consider giving up the false distinction between work and play.  This may require a different way of thinking about both.
 
Traditionally, we consider work to be the time when we “earn our living.”  This is an interesting turn of phrase.  It is not “earn our paycheck” or “earn our keep.”  We have to make ourselves worthy of our living.  To quote a very old TV commercial, “We have to earn it!”
 
This creates a degree of seriousness and priority that sets the time at work apart from the rest of our lives.  We may believe that it is too important to treat lightly.  It demands special treatment on our calendar and in our relationships.  We may have to look past people and situations that are offensive to us in order to preserve and protect it.  We may feel that we have to “put up with” ideas and actions that go against our ethical code.  Why?  In order to earn our living, our place in life.
 
Contrast this with play, by which I mean everything else.  Play is something we discover in childhood.  It is a “growing into.”  We may play at keeping house or going to work.  Play is a time to put on a new look and discover how it fits.  Play, in childhood, is a growing into you.  Many definitions say play is the opposite of engaging in serious and practical activities (work).  But, have you ever watched a child play?  Play can be very intentional and practical.  It is all about exploring and discovering, a growing into the you of your future.
 
What would happen if we took some of our play insights and applied them to work and likewise applied some of our work to play?  It might look something like this.
 
We would spend a major part of our day discovering how our employment helps us discover and grow into the person that we are becoming.  This may mean learning new skills and building healthy relationships with the people around us.  It may mean truly appreciating an employer that is concerned about you and wants to help you grow.  It may mean not being willing to “sell your soul” in order to make more money than you may really need to live as you truly want to live. 
 
We might then spend the rest of our day intentionally seeking to discover and grow into the person we really want to be.  If we want to be a great Dad or Mom, then we will engage in practical activities to live that intention out with joy.  This may include cleaning the house, helping a child with homework, or attending a PTO meeting.  If we also want to have a beautiful garden, we will dedicate our time and energy toward that end.  This may include mowing the yard or trimming the shrubs.  The activities are a means to a chosen end.  The important element in this is our intention.  Regardless of whether we are at work or play, we choose multiple places where we want to grow and become and then we discover ways to achieve that hope.  In the process we cultivate joy in living our lives whether we are being paid by others or not.  Our total lives are guided by joy and hope.
 
This represents a different way of seeing our lives.  It avoids the struggle of living with conflicting roles and expectations.  It will lead us to take responsibility for our daily living and to see each moment of the day as an opportunity for becoming.  We are the same person whether we are at work, working in the yard, at the ballfield with our children, or sitting in our easy chair enjoying some time alone.  Being intentional about ourselves and accepting responsibility for ourselves lays a solid foundation for good self-care.
 
Blessings,
 
Bob

The Cost of a Toxic Job
 
Making Work and Play Coexist
 
“Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.” ~Mark Twain

​The unsung hero in our work lives is the soul.  Our physical and mental abilities and skills generally receive the bulk of the praise when we perform or jobs well.  But neither the mind nor the body can generate the will or energy to do our jobs well.  That bonus you received was more indebted to your soul’s ability to engage the mind and body in the tasks at hand. 
 
Your employer does not hire hands to work or a mind to think.  They employ a soul to share the employer’s passion for the work and to engage in working and furthering the employer’s goals.  Otherwise, the work is poorly preformed regardless of the skills and knowledge of the employee.  This is why merely managing human resources, the minds and bodies of the employers, will not yield good results.  The good manager hires people with good skills and knowledge but then goes on to inspire the soul to engage in the work.  The soul is just as important to our work lives as our ability to perform the duties of the job.
 
In 1949, Lee J. Cobb took the stage as Willie Loman in Arthur Miller’s play Death of a Salesman.  Willie is a tragic figure who exemplifies the failure of the soul to help him through his life as a salesman.  Willie was never a stellar performer on the road.  But as he aged, he lost his ability to “charm” his clients into buying anything.  This is more than mere failure to meet his goals.  It is more than an economic failure.  His soul fell into the abyss of self-doubt, meaninglessness, and hopeless despair.  The play ends with Willie deciding that suicide is not only the only choice, but his best choice at finding what he had been seeking all of his life, meaning and self-determination.  Willie has become an icon for the soul that succumbs to burnout, loss of self, and the defeat of the human spirit before the idol of employment success.
 
Too many of us base our value and worth on what our hands and mind can produce.  Further, we allow the world to define us and place a value on us through how important we are in fulfilling its goals.  Self-care of the soul demands that we take back our permission to let the world define us by finding our own self-worth and value.
 
This begins with growing into our joys.  Do not simply find your passion, discover the things that truly bring you joy.  If you are able to be employed by someone who pays you to do those things, then pour yourself into your work.  But remember, it is the joy that is your real paycheck.  Unfortunately, many of us are not able to find work that neatly matches our passion and joy.  If that is the case, develop other opportunities to do that which brings you joy.  Look upon your employment as a “day job” that allows you to do your “real” work.  Do not forget that the reason you are working is to fill and fulfill your life, not to be enslaved to another’s needs or goals.  As we grow into our joys, we will engage life.  Willie Loman will be someone else’s story.  Our story will not be easy, but it will bring us meaning, joy, and hope for a life well-lived.

​The tip for self-Care of the Soul at work is very simple.  Find the boundaries that promote joy in your work life.
​
This may mean making clear distinctions between work and non-work.  Work is work!  Home is home!  Compartmentalize not only our hours you engage in each, but your expectations of each. 
 
Allow work to be one of several ways you find joy and meaning in life.  Cultivate a sense of value and purpose in your hobbies, social, and family life.  Allow them to be part of the way that you define and measure your “success.”  Dedicate yourself to becoming the person who feels good about their whole life and refuse to sacrifice a single moment on the altar of someone else’s goals and expectations. 
 
Finally, establish a clear boundary about what you are willing to pay for that life well-lived.  You alone can say what the price should be, and you alone should determine when the price is too high.
 
May your work life bring you the joy that sustains you and the hope that inspires you.  If not, may you find ways that will fulfill your joy and hope and reframe your job and private life as ways to support these paths.
 
Blessings,
 
Bob

Joy in the Workplace
 
Death of a Salesman - Movie
 
When You have Sold Your Soul to Your Employer

​When was the last time you read a non-fiction book that had nothing to do with your employment?  When was the last time you learned a skill that had no practical application in your job?  One survey reported that 42% of graduates never read another book after college.  80% of U.S. families did not buy a book last year.  For most of us, the only classes we take are the ones provided by or required by our employers.  We learn and think only what we need in order to do our job.  Our minds are being shaped by our vocations as we become what we do and look like those with whom we do it!
 
This vocational shaping creates a little self that must do in order to prove its worth.  Even if we enjoy the learning, there is little joy in learning just for the sake of learning.  Our mind has been enslaved to our job and our spirit becomes smaller and smaller. Our interests become fewer and fewer.  Our relationships become more and more limited.  Our hopes and dreams shrink to within the boundaries established by our day-to-day employment.  To paraphrase the UNCF slogan, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste on a job.”
 
When we take our mind to work, we are rewarded for single mindedness.  Attending job related training is required.  We are encouraged to “stay current in our field” and build a professional network who can help us do that.  Our world becomes smaller and our spirit shrinks to fill that world.
 
But there is so much more.  This is generally not discovered until we reach the age of retirement and when the job is taken from us, we become lost.  Many will simply go back to work to fill the void.  Others simply waste away, having lost a world big enough to keep them interested in living.  There is something more to life, even before retirement.
 
Self-care of the mind at work invites us to develop hobbies and outside interests.  These may include reading or traveling.  They can also mean learning a new skill like handcrafts or artistic endeavors.  Self-care also encourages us to expand our social circle beyond our colleagues and co-workers.  Make connections with new people. Build memories beyond those that gather around the workplace.  Do not wait until retirement comes, make this an important part of your daily living while you are working.  You will enrich your daily living while working and allow yourself to retire into a more abundant life than you believed possible.
 

​The best way to stretch yourself beyond the workplace is to simply stay curious.
 
Keep your eyes open to the intriguing and unusual.
 
Keep asking questions about things that capture your imagination or do not seem to fit in your world.
 
Challenge your assumptions about the way things are and listen for other’s assumptions about how the world works.
 
Travel and meet other people.  Eat their food and listen to their stories.  Play their music and learn their language.  Let them show you the rich diversity of life that awaits the intentional traveler.
 
In short, allow curiosity to stretch your mind!  Allow it to introduce new voices to your inner dialogue.  Allow curiosity to bring a greater contrast and depth of color to your insights.  Simply ask Who?  What? Why? How? and Why?  And listen as your experiences, your companions, and your insights respond and open up your world.
 
Stay curious and do not allow your job to keep you from the abundance that awaits all who dare to seek something more.
 
Bob

Mental Boredom
 
Being Bored at a Job you Love
 
Being Curious

​Work are the real-time, day-to-day activities, the “doing” in our lives.  It determines how we live in time and space.  It has very real consequences on our physical health and well-being.  Work demands that we pay attention to both the costs of and benefits we gain in our long-term and short-term daily lives.  And yet, we seldom connect the dots between our employment and our physical health.  In short, we overwork ourselves to death.
 
A former church member worked at a plant where he was exposed to asbestos for over 30 years.  When I knew him, he was dying from mesothelioma, a lung disease traced to asbestos.  He spoke openly about his disease and understood that it was caused by his work.  But he also said that it was worth it.  His employers enabled him to take care of his family.  His disease was just part of the price he paid.  He both saw and chose to continue along that path.  He counted the cost and made his choice.  Unfortunately, few of us are aware of the real costs of our work life.  We likely ignore the consequences they are having on our present or future lives.  And so, we labor on and leave the dots unconnected.
 
In addition, many employers have changed the workplace in ways that encourages us to “overwork.”  They demand greater employee efficiency by forcing us to do more with less.  Many have reshaped the pay systems to support this efficiency.  They make it more profitable to overwork.  There is a greater reliance on performance-based pay (commission and bonuses) and no longer consider cost of living to be a reason to increase a worker’s pay.   Further, they “add value” to our positions by increasing our responsibilities.  They cultivate increased competition for jobs and promotions.  Many people work in order to building a resume without regard to pay or benefits.  This is especially true of the increasing use of unpaid internships in both the public and private sector.  Lastly, our culture is now focusing on developing a work ethic around the entrepreneurial spirit that requires that someone do whatever it takes to succeed.  How badly do you want to be a millionaire?
 
The result is that jobs are demanding greater costs and deferring benefits.  Labor has become more of a cipher on the balance sheet than a human resource.   We have come to see our working life as selling our time and bodies to the highest bidder until we can buy them back in retirement.
 
The pressures to overwork, over-invest in our jobs can be overwhelming.  But it is not inevitable.  The worker still has the choice.  They do not have to accept overwork.  They can cut the costs of working but they will also have to be realistic about the benefits.  It is the workers responsibility to find the balance, not the employers.  Overwork, overinvestment is a choice, but it is not the only choice to those who are willing to accept responsibility for their working lives. 
 
If you find yourself in a situation where overwork is hurting your health, you may want to change jobs or find a way to work smarter.

The old adage “Don’t work harder, work smarter!” is very true.  Smarter means being aware of what and how you are doing your job, counting the costs, and weighing the benefits.  If you can get greater efficiency by learning new ways of doing things, will it bring a greater benefit to you?  Wil employing technology reduce your costs in time and energy while holding or increasing your benefits?  Will stepping down the corporate ladder and related responsibilities still yield the benefits you need?  These are among a myriad of choices that each of us has in taking care of our body during our working life.
 
I encourage you to look back at why you work and compare the costs and benefits.  What changes will allow you to make the best of the time you spend at work?  If you choose to overwork then you will need to accept the consequences.  If you choose to make changes you will need to accept the consequences of that choice as well.  There are no magic bullets.  We know what we could and possibly should do.  We need to give ourselves permission to do it, to make the smarter choice for a healthier work life.  And then, we need to be willing to accept the results of our choices, recognizing that they are our choices. 
 
How important is time with your family?  How important is your current level of pay?  How important are the various benefits?  How important is your present and future health?  How important is your current lifestyle?  Weigh each of these and many others to make your choice.  And then get on with living, letting go of blaming others and enjoying your life, work and all.
 
Blessings,
Bob

Why do we work ourselves to death?
 
Overworking
 
Choosing Your Lifestyle