Many people who regularly overthink do not see it as a problem. They simply see it as thorough planning. They ignore the anxiety and call it energy. They ignore the redundant redundancy and call it security. They ignore the wasted time and resources and call it an investment in success. Good planning may involve extra energy, some redundancy, and investment of a little more time and resources. But when these exceed the reasonable and take away from the experience you are planning, they become signs of overthinking. Overthinking is not a virtue, it is a habit.
However, we all do it from time to time. Some do it more frequently. As long as we can recognize the signs of overthinking, we can step back. However, if you are unable to distinguish overthinking from good planning, guess what? You have developed a full-blown case of habitual overthinking.
Overthinking generally grows out of anxiety or a feeling of vulnerability. We are trying to protect ourselves from something. It may be the dangers of the road or from failure or any number of other fears. We attempt to compensate for our fears by developing layer upon layer of strategies. Regardless of how complicated our planning becomes it can generally be traced to a small number of anxieties that are driving the feeling of being vulnerable.
If you suspect that you are overthinking your life and making yourself miserable, then explore reasons why you feel so vulnerable. You may not know or be able to identify the source of your feelings. It is likely that while you cannot see them, those around can. Do not be discouraged. Find a trusted friend to help you. Look and listen to yourself through their eyes and words. They can help you see the very things that you have been hiding from yourself.
One of the primary ways that we take care of ourselves is by accepting responsibility for ourselves and finding a way to deal with our struggles. Find a trusted friend to help you.
However, we all do it from time to time. Some do it more frequently. As long as we can recognize the signs of overthinking, we can step back. However, if you are unable to distinguish overthinking from good planning, guess what? You have developed a full-blown case of habitual overthinking.
Overthinking generally grows out of anxiety or a feeling of vulnerability. We are trying to protect ourselves from something. It may be the dangers of the road or from failure or any number of other fears. We attempt to compensate for our fears by developing layer upon layer of strategies. Regardless of how complicated our planning becomes it can generally be traced to a small number of anxieties that are driving the feeling of being vulnerable.
If you suspect that you are overthinking your life and making yourself miserable, then explore reasons why you feel so vulnerable. You may not know or be able to identify the source of your feelings. It is likely that while you cannot see them, those around can. Do not be discouraged. Find a trusted friend to help you. Look and listen to yourself through their eyes and words. They can help you see the very things that you have been hiding from yourself.
One of the primary ways that we take care of ourselves is by accepting responsibility for ourselves and finding a way to deal with our struggles. Find a trusted friend to help you.
Tip - Spiritual Direction
If you do not have a trusted friend who can help you look for your vulnerabilities, you may want to consider a spiritual director.
What is Spiritual Direction? Liz Budd Ellmann, a former director of Spiritual Directors International (SDI) writes:
"Spiritual direction explores a deeper relationship with the spiritual aspect of being human. Simply put, spiritual direction is helping people tell their sacred stories every day.
Spiritual direction has emerged in many contexts using language specific to particular cultural and spiritual traditions. Describing spiritual direction requires putting words to a process of fostering a transcendent experience that lies beyond all names and yet the experience longs to be articulated and made concrete in everyday living. It is easier to describe what spiritual direction does than what spiritual direction is. Our role is not to define spiritual direction, but to describe the experience.
Spiritual direction helps us learn how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names."
The SDI website (see the link below) has a great deal of information about the practice of Spiritual Direction. It is important to realize that Spiritual Direction is available for the religious and the non-religious. It is open to people of all faiths and to people of no faith. It only requires an openness to explore the inner journey where we can come to know and care for ourselves.
If you do not have a Spiritual Director but would like to talk with several to see if any of them may be able to help you, follow this link to a Seek and Find Guide.
Enjoy the journey!
What is Spiritual Direction? Liz Budd Ellmann, a former director of Spiritual Directors International (SDI) writes:
"Spiritual direction explores a deeper relationship with the spiritual aspect of being human. Simply put, spiritual direction is helping people tell their sacred stories every day.
Spiritual direction has emerged in many contexts using language specific to particular cultural and spiritual traditions. Describing spiritual direction requires putting words to a process of fostering a transcendent experience that lies beyond all names and yet the experience longs to be articulated and made concrete in everyday living. It is easier to describe what spiritual direction does than what spiritual direction is. Our role is not to define spiritual direction, but to describe the experience.
Spiritual direction helps us learn how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names."
The SDI website (see the link below) has a great deal of information about the practice of Spiritual Direction. It is important to realize that Spiritual Direction is available for the religious and the non-religious. It is open to people of all faiths and to people of no faith. It only requires an openness to explore the inner journey where we can come to know and care for ourselves.
If you do not have a Spiritual Director but would like to talk with several to see if any of them may be able to help you, follow this link to a Seek and Find Guide.
Enjoy the journey!
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