Little Help from Our Friends
Whenever I have a conversation about self-care, I fear that I am leaving the impression that self-care is all about the “me.” While it does lean heavily upon each of us taking personal responsibility for our self-care, it is not a solo task. Calling it self-care may be misleading. It may be about the self, but it is never me alone.
Back in the 1980’s I watched a British Comedy called “The Good Neighbors.” It was a series about Tom and Barbara’s attempt to escape the rat race and become wholly self-sufficient. Today we call it going “off the grid.” They lived in suburbia but converted their home and yard into a farm. They generated their own electricity from the methane that was distilled from the farm waste. They grew their own food and fiber. But, even with all their desire to be self-sufficient, they needed their neighbors, Margo and Jerry. The story was about the tension between self-sufficiency and staying in relationships with other people.
Being an island to ourselves is contrary to the human experience. Relationships provide us with life energy when our own begins to fade. Our companions offer us a mirror in which we can see ourselves through trusted eyes. They provide the human touch that reminds us that we are of value. They offer a listening ear that reminds us that we have a story to share. They reassure us when our hope ebbs. Companions surround us with the “ether of life” in which we live, and move, and have our being. Companion comes from two Latin words that mean, with –bread. Companions are those with whom we break the bread of life each day.
When we are prone to giving up on ourselves, our companions say, “Not so fast!” When we do not have the energy to get out of bed, a companion says, “Meet me for breakfast!” When our mind and soul simply cannot risk another disappointment, a companion walks with us into the fray.
If we are going to do good self-care, it is vital that we surround ourselves with companions who will be there, no matter what. They will give us the little energy we need to climb the next hill and celebrate the view from the top. To quote the Beatles (and Joe Cocker), “We all need a little help from our friends!”
Back in the 1980’s I watched a British Comedy called “The Good Neighbors.” It was a series about Tom and Barbara’s attempt to escape the rat race and become wholly self-sufficient. Today we call it going “off the grid.” They lived in suburbia but converted their home and yard into a farm. They generated their own electricity from the methane that was distilled from the farm waste. They grew their own food and fiber. But, even with all their desire to be self-sufficient, they needed their neighbors, Margo and Jerry. The story was about the tension between self-sufficiency and staying in relationships with other people.
Being an island to ourselves is contrary to the human experience. Relationships provide us with life energy when our own begins to fade. Our companions offer us a mirror in which we can see ourselves through trusted eyes. They provide the human touch that reminds us that we are of value. They offer a listening ear that reminds us that we have a story to share. They reassure us when our hope ebbs. Companions surround us with the “ether of life” in which we live, and move, and have our being. Companion comes from two Latin words that mean, with –bread. Companions are those with whom we break the bread of life each day.
When we are prone to giving up on ourselves, our companions say, “Not so fast!” When we do not have the energy to get out of bed, a companion says, “Meet me for breakfast!” When our mind and soul simply cannot risk another disappointment, a companion walks with us into the fray.
If we are going to do good self-care, it is vital that we surround ourselves with companions who will be there, no matter what. They will give us the little energy we need to climb the next hill and celebrate the view from the top. To quote the Beatles (and Joe Cocker), “We all need a little help from our friends!”
Tip -- A Companion Inventory
When you feel stuck and have a bad case of the “Don’t Wannas”, take a little stroll through your contact list or address book.
Pay attention to the people that cause you to linger on their name. Listen for their voice. Image their face. Remember your last conversation with them. How did they make your feel? Does remembering fill your soul with a little desire to keep on going? Did they bring a little light to you as you cowered behind the barricades of shame, weariness, anger, or despair?
Make a note in your contact list or address book about these folks. When you encounter one of the barriers we have been discussing these last few weeks, make an effort to see one them. They can make you feel good about who you are. They are your companions. Seek them out and let them be who they are, your friend!
Pay attention to the people that cause you to linger on their name. Listen for their voice. Image their face. Remember your last conversation with them. How did they make your feel? Does remembering fill your soul with a little desire to keep on going? Did they bring a little light to you as you cowered behind the barricades of shame, weariness, anger, or despair?
Make a note in your contact list or address book about these folks. When you encounter one of the barriers we have been discussing these last few weeks, make an effort to see one them. They can make you feel good about who you are. They are your companions. Seek them out and let them be who they are, your friend!
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