General Information – Soul Weariness
When I was growing up, we had a large pecan tree that grew next to the steps of the back porch. It had a small limb that grew out over the steps and anyone over five feet tall had to dodge it. My Mom wanted it gone so I found a saw and started working on it. Being easily distracted, I turned my eyes off the sawing and watched the dogs playing in the backyard. Not one of my finer moments. In a couple minutes I felt something warm running down my thumb. When I looked back, I had sawed into the top of my thumb, nail and all. The strangest part of the moment was that I did not feel the pain until I saw the wound. Until that moment, my thumb was numb.
Soul weariness is much like sawing into our lives and not feeling the pain. There are times when our soul comes under attack by so many emotions, that it simply shuts down. We become numb to the world around us and to the world within us.
The feelings are turned off. Anger, shame, guilt, embarrassment, sadness, as well as more positive emotions do not happen. We enter a trance like state and lose the lively inner dialogue that enriches our lives. And, because our energy flows out of our soul and its emotional responses to the world, we go to sleep. No emotions. No energy. Just sleep.
There is something within us that shuts down these emotions when they become too much to bear. It is especially true for those experiencing powerful emotions like those that come with deep grief. (But, they can also occur in moments of overwhelming joy.) Something within us does not want to “feel” anymore. Our lives may go on auto-pilot and we see ourselves from outside. It is as if we are observing a movie of our life. We watch but have no influence over person we see or the circumstances we are watching.
Soul-weariness is a natural part of our inner lives. It offers us a break from overwhelming emotions and circumstances. But, if it goes on too long, it can be as debilitating as a stroke. When we feel the warm essence of our life pouring out of some unknown wound, focus on the pain and locate the wound. For only then will we be able to stop the bleeding and find ways to heal.
Soul weariness is much like sawing into our lives and not feeling the pain. There are times when our soul comes under attack by so many emotions, that it simply shuts down. We become numb to the world around us and to the world within us.
The feelings are turned off. Anger, shame, guilt, embarrassment, sadness, as well as more positive emotions do not happen. We enter a trance like state and lose the lively inner dialogue that enriches our lives. And, because our energy flows out of our soul and its emotional responses to the world, we go to sleep. No emotions. No energy. Just sleep.
There is something within us that shuts down these emotions when they become too much to bear. It is especially true for those experiencing powerful emotions like those that come with deep grief. (But, they can also occur in moments of overwhelming joy.) Something within us does not want to “feel” anymore. Our lives may go on auto-pilot and we see ourselves from outside. It is as if we are observing a movie of our life. We watch but have no influence over person we see or the circumstances we are watching.
Soul-weariness is a natural part of our inner lives. It offers us a break from overwhelming emotions and circumstances. But, if it goes on too long, it can be as debilitating as a stroke. When we feel the warm essence of our life pouring out of some unknown wound, focus on the pain and locate the wound. For only then will we be able to stop the bleeding and find ways to heal.
Tips – Waking Up to Ourselves
Soul weariness has been likened to sleep-walking. Waking a sleep walker can be very dangerous. They may startle and fall or otherwise injure themselves. The same applies to dealing with soul weariness. We need to become mindful of our pain, but we need to do so in ways that prevent us from hurting ourselves. We should not do on our own. The goal is to locate the wound and finding ways to provide “first aid” and then longer-term healing. A companion can help us do so safely.
First, sit with a trusted companion, someone who knows you well enough to have a good understanding of what is going on inside of you. Share your experiences with them. Listen carefully as they respond to you. (They may be the only one who can get you out of bed.)
Second, give your pain or joy its day while you sit with your companion. Tears are okay. Allow your companion to sit quietly without any expectations of them other than their presence. Give yourself the time you need to move through those initial feelings.
Third, surround yourself with people you trust and who remind you of the better parts of yourselves. Open your senses to the world around you. Allow yourself to respond to those experiences.
Lastly, as your soul begins to engage the world, allow your life to flow through your spirit once again. Allow the inner dialogue to resume. As you awaken to yourself and the world around you, there may be moments of relapse. But that is okay. Return to your companion. Give the feelings their day. Open yourself to the world beyond and within. Live with the love and trust, joy and hope that will bring meaning and contentment back into your life.
(If you are troubled by how long your soul weariness has taken and it has severely disrupted your life, it may be time to seek professional support. Find a professional that you trust and allow them to be your companion through this wilderness.)
First, sit with a trusted companion, someone who knows you well enough to have a good understanding of what is going on inside of you. Share your experiences with them. Listen carefully as they respond to you. (They may be the only one who can get you out of bed.)
Second, give your pain or joy its day while you sit with your companion. Tears are okay. Allow your companion to sit quietly without any expectations of them other than their presence. Give yourself the time you need to move through those initial feelings.
Third, surround yourself with people you trust and who remind you of the better parts of yourselves. Open your senses to the world around you. Allow yourself to respond to those experiences.
Lastly, as your soul begins to engage the world, allow your life to flow through your spirit once again. Allow the inner dialogue to resume. As you awaken to yourself and the world around you, there may be moments of relapse. But that is okay. Return to your companion. Give the feelings their day. Open yourself to the world beyond and within. Live with the love and trust, joy and hope that will bring meaning and contentment back into your life.
(If you are troubled by how long your soul weariness has taken and it has severely disrupted your life, it may be time to seek professional support. Find a professional that you trust and allow them to be your companion through this wilderness.)
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