General Information
Self-care is all about the self. We are always the main character in this little drama of self-care. The leading player is always me, myself, and I. Self-care cannot be delegated to a spouse, friend, parent, or religious leader. If it is to occur, we must be able to step-up and accept our role in taking care of ourselves. In short, it means we must be accountable to ourselves for the health of our mind, body, and soul.
Accountability means we are answerable to someone. In spiritual health, the first step toward accountability is to acknowledge that we need to answer to ourselves. We need to accept responsibility for our actions. If we are miserable we may not be the cause of this dis-ease but we are the only person who can change the situation. We are responsible because we are the only person who has enough control to be able to respond. We are answerable to ourselves for ourselves.
Many years ago I heard a presentation on Turtles and Skunks. Turtles are folks who crawl inside their shells to avoid difficulty. They tend to blame themselves for everything that happens. Whereas, Skunks share every feeling they ever have with those around them. They tend to blame their problems on everyone else. All of us have a little turtle and a little skunk in our soul. In Self-care, we need to be able to accept our inner turtle and our inner skunk.
This means we must learn to recognize our “turtleness” and our “skunkness” for what it is. And accept that while we cannot control the circumstances, we do have responsibility for how we respond to situations. If we are unhappy or dissatisfied, we cannot blame it all on others. Nor do we need to believe it is all our fault. We can step away from our blaming. We can change those things in our life that are within our realm of control. And we can let go of what is outside of our control.
Self-care is the on-going process of accepting responsibility for our own sense of joy/hope, love/trust in life. It is being accountable to ourselves for changing the things we can and letting go of the things that are beyond our control. May you find your character in your life’s play to be filled with great lines and wonderful co-stars!
Bob
Accountability means we are answerable to someone. In spiritual health, the first step toward accountability is to acknowledge that we need to answer to ourselves. We need to accept responsibility for our actions. If we are miserable we may not be the cause of this dis-ease but we are the only person who can change the situation. We are responsible because we are the only person who has enough control to be able to respond. We are answerable to ourselves for ourselves.
Many years ago I heard a presentation on Turtles and Skunks. Turtles are folks who crawl inside their shells to avoid difficulty. They tend to blame themselves for everything that happens. Whereas, Skunks share every feeling they ever have with those around them. They tend to blame their problems on everyone else. All of us have a little turtle and a little skunk in our soul. In Self-care, we need to be able to accept our inner turtle and our inner skunk.
This means we must learn to recognize our “turtleness” and our “skunkness” for what it is. And accept that while we cannot control the circumstances, we do have responsibility for how we respond to situations. If we are unhappy or dissatisfied, we cannot blame it all on others. Nor do we need to believe it is all our fault. We can step away from our blaming. We can change those things in our life that are within our realm of control. And we can let go of what is outside of our control.
Self-care is the on-going process of accepting responsibility for our own sense of joy/hope, love/trust in life. It is being accountable to ourselves for changing the things we can and letting go of the things that are beyond our control. May you find your character in your life’s play to be filled with great lines and wonderful co-stars!
Bob
Tip -- The Blame Game
Pay attention to your internal dialogue for a week.
On your phone open a note and write “Turtle” and “Skunk” on it. When you feel a blaming coming on, open the note and place a 1 under one or the other depending on whether you are turtling or skunking. At the end of the week tally up the points.
If your numbers are skewed toward one or the other you might want to check this out with a close, trusted friend. Ask them if this sounds like you. Listen carefully to their observations. More often than not, they will see things more clearly than you can.
Then spend some time with yourself and ask yourself why you might tend to be turtling or skunking more. How does your blame game feed into any struggles you may be having? How does your blaming keep you from accepting responsibility for your own joy and hope, love and trust?
This exercise can help you learn something valuable about yourself. If you learn well and accept responsibility for it, you may just discover a new you struggling to be born.
On your phone open a note and write “Turtle” and “Skunk” on it. When you feel a blaming coming on, open the note and place a 1 under one or the other depending on whether you are turtling or skunking. At the end of the week tally up the points.
If your numbers are skewed toward one or the other you might want to check this out with a close, trusted friend. Ask them if this sounds like you. Listen carefully to their observations. More often than not, they will see things more clearly than you can.
Then spend some time with yourself and ask yourself why you might tend to be turtling or skunking more. How does your blame game feed into any struggles you may be having? How does your blaming keep you from accepting responsibility for your own joy and hope, love and trust?
This exercise can help you learn something valuable about yourself. If you learn well and accept responsibility for it, you may just discover a new you struggling to be born.
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