For the last few weeks I have been exploring ways to take care of ourselves while at work. One of the reasons this topic is necessary and timely is a false distinction we draw between our work lives and our lives at play. (I know that most of us would not define our non-work time as play time, but this is the crux of the problem.) We have compartmentalized our lives between work, chores, family, recreation, vacation, etc. etc. We have established different expectations and modes of operation for each. This sets the stage for role conflicts, time conflicts, ethical conflicts, and divided loyalties. As the old wisdom says, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” And many of us are sliced, diced and divided so much that we have to figure out which hat we are wearing before we can answer a simple question.
As you consider your self-care at work, I will ask you to consider giving up the false distinction between work and play. This may require a different way of thinking about both.
Traditionally, we consider work to be the time when we “earn our living.” This is an interesting turn of phrase. It is not “earn our paycheck” or “earn our keep.” We have to make ourselves worthy of our living. To quote a very old TV commercial, “We have to earn it!”
This creates a degree of seriousness and priority that sets the time at work apart from the rest of our lives. We may believe that it is too important to treat lightly. It demands special treatment on our calendar and in our relationships. We may have to look past people and situations that are offensive to us in order to preserve and protect it. We may feel that we have to “put up with” ideas and actions that go against our ethical code. Why? In order to earn our living, our place in life.
Contrast this with play, by which I mean everything else. Play is something we discover in childhood. It is a “growing into.” We may play at keeping house or going to work. Play is a time to put on a new look and discover how it fits. Play, in childhood, is a growing into you. Many definitions say play is the opposite of engaging in serious and practical activities (work). But, have you ever watched a child play? Play can be very intentional and practical. It is all about exploring and discovering, a growing into the you of your future.
What would happen if we took some of our play insights and applied them to work and likewise applied some of our work to play? It might look something like this.
We would spend a major part of our day discovering how our employment helps us discover and grow into the person that we are becoming. This may mean learning new skills and building healthy relationships with the people around us. It may mean truly appreciating an employer that is concerned about you and wants to help you grow. It may mean not being willing to “sell your soul” in order to make more money than you may really need to live as you truly want to live.
We might then spend the rest of our day intentionally seeking to discover and grow into the person we really want to be. If we want to be a great Dad or Mom, then we will engage in practical activities to live that intention out with joy. This may include cleaning the house, helping a child with homework, or attending a PTO meeting. If we also want to have a beautiful garden, we will dedicate our time and energy toward that end. This may include mowing the yard or trimming the shrubs. The activities are a means to a chosen end. The important element in this is our intention. Regardless of whether we are at work or play, we choose multiple places where we want to grow and become and then we discover ways to achieve that hope. In the process we cultivate joy in living our lives whether we are being paid by others or not. Our total lives are guided by joy and hope.
This represents a different way of seeing our lives. It avoids the struggle of living with conflicting roles and expectations. It will lead us to take responsibility for our daily living and to see each moment of the day as an opportunity for becoming. We are the same person whether we are at work, working in the yard, at the ballfield with our children, or sitting in our easy chair enjoying some time alone. Being intentional about ourselves and accepting responsibility for ourselves lays a solid foundation for good self-care.
Blessings,
Bob
As you consider your self-care at work, I will ask you to consider giving up the false distinction between work and play. This may require a different way of thinking about both.
Traditionally, we consider work to be the time when we “earn our living.” This is an interesting turn of phrase. It is not “earn our paycheck” or “earn our keep.” We have to make ourselves worthy of our living. To quote a very old TV commercial, “We have to earn it!”
This creates a degree of seriousness and priority that sets the time at work apart from the rest of our lives. We may believe that it is too important to treat lightly. It demands special treatment on our calendar and in our relationships. We may have to look past people and situations that are offensive to us in order to preserve and protect it. We may feel that we have to “put up with” ideas and actions that go against our ethical code. Why? In order to earn our living, our place in life.
Contrast this with play, by which I mean everything else. Play is something we discover in childhood. It is a “growing into.” We may play at keeping house or going to work. Play is a time to put on a new look and discover how it fits. Play, in childhood, is a growing into you. Many definitions say play is the opposite of engaging in serious and practical activities (work). But, have you ever watched a child play? Play can be very intentional and practical. It is all about exploring and discovering, a growing into the you of your future.
What would happen if we took some of our play insights and applied them to work and likewise applied some of our work to play? It might look something like this.
We would spend a major part of our day discovering how our employment helps us discover and grow into the person that we are becoming. This may mean learning new skills and building healthy relationships with the people around us. It may mean truly appreciating an employer that is concerned about you and wants to help you grow. It may mean not being willing to “sell your soul” in order to make more money than you may really need to live as you truly want to live.
We might then spend the rest of our day intentionally seeking to discover and grow into the person we really want to be. If we want to be a great Dad or Mom, then we will engage in practical activities to live that intention out with joy. This may include cleaning the house, helping a child with homework, or attending a PTO meeting. If we also want to have a beautiful garden, we will dedicate our time and energy toward that end. This may include mowing the yard or trimming the shrubs. The activities are a means to a chosen end. The important element in this is our intention. Regardless of whether we are at work or play, we choose multiple places where we want to grow and become and then we discover ways to achieve that hope. In the process we cultivate joy in living our lives whether we are being paid by others or not. Our total lives are guided by joy and hope.
This represents a different way of seeing our lives. It avoids the struggle of living with conflicting roles and expectations. It will lead us to take responsibility for our daily living and to see each moment of the day as an opportunity for becoming. We are the same person whether we are at work, working in the yard, at the ballfield with our children, or sitting in our easy chair enjoying some time alone. Being intentional about ourselves and accepting responsibility for ourselves lays a solid foundation for good self-care.
Blessings,
Bob
FYI
The Cost of a Toxic Job
Making Work and Play Coexist
“Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.” ~Mark Twain
Making Work and Play Coexist
“Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.” ~Mark Twain
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