“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~ Lalah Delia
When circumstances force us into a new journey, we often feel victimized. We may feel that we have little or no control over our lives and that our options are few. We use a great deal of energy blaming, resisting, pouting, shouting, and throwing temper tantrums. None of which help us deal with the challenge at hand, making the best of the journey ahead. Victims claim such behavior is claimed as a birthright. But we can do better! Self-care demands that we find a healthier way to deal with the new journey ahead.
In the last few weeks I have shared several ways to deal with the challenges of a new journey. (Follow this link and you can read or review these self-care tips.) But these tips and any other strategies you may discover will not be helpful as long as you maintain your victimhood. Every new journey brings both challenge and opportunity. When we open ourselves to both, choices begin to present themselves. We discover that we are not powerless. We may not have absolute control over the destination, but we have meaningful choices that will affect the journey. But this only works when we claim our journey and the gifts it offers.
If our new journey is prompted by a deep loss, we will need a season of lament where we make our loss part of our lives. But there comes a point when we can set our face to our future even while remembering and cherishing the past. This is true whether the loss is of a companion, a job, our health, or other major life change.
If our new journey is prompted by an external need, we will need time to sort through and discern whether the path merits our energy. Our spouse takes a new job or family responsibilities call us to move closer to parents or children. Our boss wants us to take a promotion that will demand more time. Our children are not doing well in our present situation. We are still able to make choices. The circumstances may raise the emotional stakes, but we will need to claim the choice and make the journey one of our choosing, even if we do so reluctantly. We are accountable for how we respond to new journeys.
We have two choices whether the journey is voluntary or involuntary, welcome or unwelcome.
The first is to claim our journey and the gifts it offers. Even if it is involuntary, the journey will offer opportunities for good or ill. By making the journey our own and accepting it as part of our lives, we will be able to use it to GROW in spirit. We will emerge on the other end of the path having grown in body, mind, and soul.
Second, we can resist the changes that the journey offers and walk in misery. We can carry all the baggage from the start of the journey along with us. We can refuse to learn new ways for new situations. We can refuse to engage with new people along the way and lament the loss of friends and family that were left behind. We can live with regret and refuse to replenish the emotional energy through self-care. In doing so, we will WITHER in spirit. Our capacity for love and trust, joy and hope will diminish. We will lose our resilience and stumble along dreading the next turn or fearing that we have made a terrible mistake.
But such dire circumstances are not inevitable. We have a choice on how we receive new journeys. They can be burdens to be endured or blessings to be uncovered. They will not be easy. They will not be simple. But how we respond to them is our choice and in that choice, we can find the seeds of self-care that will help us find our way.
Blessings on your new journeys.
Bob
In the last few weeks I have shared several ways to deal with the challenges of a new journey. (Follow this link and you can read or review these self-care tips.) But these tips and any other strategies you may discover will not be helpful as long as you maintain your victimhood. Every new journey brings both challenge and opportunity. When we open ourselves to both, choices begin to present themselves. We discover that we are not powerless. We may not have absolute control over the destination, but we have meaningful choices that will affect the journey. But this only works when we claim our journey and the gifts it offers.
If our new journey is prompted by a deep loss, we will need a season of lament where we make our loss part of our lives. But there comes a point when we can set our face to our future even while remembering and cherishing the past. This is true whether the loss is of a companion, a job, our health, or other major life change.
If our new journey is prompted by an external need, we will need time to sort through and discern whether the path merits our energy. Our spouse takes a new job or family responsibilities call us to move closer to parents or children. Our boss wants us to take a promotion that will demand more time. Our children are not doing well in our present situation. We are still able to make choices. The circumstances may raise the emotional stakes, but we will need to claim the choice and make the journey one of our choosing, even if we do so reluctantly. We are accountable for how we respond to new journeys.
We have two choices whether the journey is voluntary or involuntary, welcome or unwelcome.
The first is to claim our journey and the gifts it offers. Even if it is involuntary, the journey will offer opportunities for good or ill. By making the journey our own and accepting it as part of our lives, we will be able to use it to GROW in spirit. We will emerge on the other end of the path having grown in body, mind, and soul.
Second, we can resist the changes that the journey offers and walk in misery. We can carry all the baggage from the start of the journey along with us. We can refuse to learn new ways for new situations. We can refuse to engage with new people along the way and lament the loss of friends and family that were left behind. We can live with regret and refuse to replenish the emotional energy through self-care. In doing so, we will WITHER in spirit. Our capacity for love and trust, joy and hope will diminish. We will lose our resilience and stumble along dreading the next turn or fearing that we have made a terrible mistake.
But such dire circumstances are not inevitable. We have a choice on how we receive new journeys. They can be burdens to be endured or blessings to be uncovered. They will not be easy. They will not be simple. But how we respond to them is our choice and in that choice, we can find the seeds of self-care that will help us find our way.
Blessings on your new journeys.
Bob
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