General Information: Stinkin' Thinkin' or "A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Stress"
When we discover that we are under stress, our mind focuses on the immediate threat. It shuts out thoughts that are not essential to the task of either fighting or fleeing the threat. It may look for weapons to use or avenues of escape. This is a “hard-wired” response to a perceived threat and it serves us well in those moments.
However, when we find ourselves not being able to let go of the stress after the threat has passed, this “single-mindedness” no longer serves us well. By continuing to feel the fear of the threat or worry that it will return, our mind stays locked in the pattern of looking for threats, weapons, or avenues of escape. Chronic stress leads us into what AA calls, Stinkin’ Thinkin’.
A person who was bitten by a dog as a child may harbor lingering feelings of resentment against all dogs. That resentment and fear served them well immediately following the bite. Unfortunately, if the fear continues to linger they may develop a belief that all dogs are dangerous. This is stinkin’ thinkin’. When they meet up with a dog they may not make appropriate choices because of their ST. These beliefs can grow out of extraordinary events, like accidents or abuse.
These thoughts can also grow out ordinary events. But they do so only when we attach more significance to the event than it deserves. A person may be laid off from a job they have dreamed about for years. If they make more of the lay off than a mere budgetary adjustment, they may start to believe that there is something wrong with them. This can cascade into a torrent of negative thoughts that defeat and discourage them for a lifetime. Chronic stress, when left unattended, can destroy our love and trust, joy and hope.
Good self-care demands that we become wary of generalized beliefs that grow out of negative experiences. We can do this by paying attention to the emotions that the event evokes and allow them to dissipate when the threat wanes. If we find ourselves worrying about the event happening again or fretting over how we responded when it did happen, then we may be experiencing chronic stress. We may be a victim of stinkin’ thinkin’. We are well-advised to talk this experience over with a professional and find ways to deal with the “left over” feelings and thoughts. A mind is a terrible thing to stress.
However, when we find ourselves not being able to let go of the stress after the threat has passed, this “single-mindedness” no longer serves us well. By continuing to feel the fear of the threat or worry that it will return, our mind stays locked in the pattern of looking for threats, weapons, or avenues of escape. Chronic stress leads us into what AA calls, Stinkin’ Thinkin’.
A person who was bitten by a dog as a child may harbor lingering feelings of resentment against all dogs. That resentment and fear served them well immediately following the bite. Unfortunately, if the fear continues to linger they may develop a belief that all dogs are dangerous. This is stinkin’ thinkin’. When they meet up with a dog they may not make appropriate choices because of their ST. These beliefs can grow out of extraordinary events, like accidents or abuse.
These thoughts can also grow out ordinary events. But they do so only when we attach more significance to the event than it deserves. A person may be laid off from a job they have dreamed about for years. If they make more of the lay off than a mere budgetary adjustment, they may start to believe that there is something wrong with them. This can cascade into a torrent of negative thoughts that defeat and discourage them for a lifetime. Chronic stress, when left unattended, can destroy our love and trust, joy and hope.
Good self-care demands that we become wary of generalized beliefs that grow out of negative experiences. We can do this by paying attention to the emotions that the event evokes and allow them to dissipate when the threat wanes. If we find ourselves worrying about the event happening again or fretting over how we responded when it did happen, then we may be experiencing chronic stress. We may be a victim of stinkin’ thinkin’. We are well-advised to talk this experience over with a professional and find ways to deal with the “left over” feelings and thoughts. A mind is a terrible thing to stress.
Self-Care Tip: Gratitude
One of the most powerful tools we have in combatting the fear and anxiety of stress is gratitude. Gratitude is simply an attitude that accepts that we are gifted with moments of undeserved grace. When such moments occur we have the opportunity to either ignore them or allow them to redirect our mind away from our fears and worry. They can remind us that life is more than the hurts and disappointments we experience. They remind us that life is, as Forrest Gump said, “a box of chocolates…” Gratitude, when practiced consistently during times of stress or unstress, can help us to avoid the stinkin’ thinkin’ of “coulda’ - shoulda’ - woulda’” or “Always… or Never….”.
Gratitude is very easy. When something good happens to you, simply say “Thank you!” You can either say it to the person who offered you the gift or to yourself quietly under your breath. Gratitude reminds us that there is good in the world and we receive it every day. It helps us to lay aside our anger or fear for a moment and see beyond pain they cause.
By opening our eyes to the gifts that come our way, we lighten the load of stress just a bit and find it easier to lay aside our worry and fear when the threat that caused the stress disappears.
Two little words can change the course of your day. Just say “Thank you!”
Gratitude is very easy. When something good happens to you, simply say “Thank you!” You can either say it to the person who offered you the gift or to yourself quietly under your breath. Gratitude reminds us that there is good in the world and we receive it every day. It helps us to lay aside our anger or fear for a moment and see beyond pain they cause.
By opening our eyes to the gifts that come our way, we lighten the load of stress just a bit and find it easier to lay aside our worry and fear when the threat that caused the stress disappears.
Two little words can change the course of your day. Just say “Thank you!”
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