Being soul stuck is, by far, more debilitating than being stuck in body or mind. Soul stuckness can be as brief as a few moments or as long as a lifetime. It can be a sadness that makes daily life difficult or it can completely paralyze our will to live. It can steal away our joy or destroy our lives. The soul become stuck when it stands in the way of our will to act. In its most severe form it renders life a mere shadow by destroying our capacity for love and trust, joy and hope. It erodes our faith and renders our relationships meaningless.
The soul and the emotions that bubble within it give us the energy to act. Some emotions will empower us to act. Others can absorb all the energy we need just to carry our emotional baggage. We rely on this energy to engage our will and live our lives. This energy can be redirected against ourselves. It can also be used up in fighting battles within our mind. In either case, it is unable to lead us beyond ourselves and into the world. We become stuck.
This emotional baggage gets in the way of meaningful relationships, purposeful goals, life-giving hopes, and life-inspiring dreams. In their place we experience a magnification of insecurities, fears, and uncertainties. In time we may cease to feel anything at all. We may feel nothing, numb to our lives.
As a Hospice Chaplain I had the opportunity to walk with quite a few couples as they prepared for the death of a spouse. With a few of the couples, when the death of the spouse occurred I could see the light go out in the eyes of the survivor. I, along with the team, could predict that the remaining spouse would be gone within 6 months or a year. I believe these people died of a broken heart. This is the ultimate expression of soul stuckness. Someone who had survived 80 or more years of changes succumbed when they became lost in their grief.
Because soul stuckness inevitably involved the paralysis of the will, it can be very difficult to overcome. When it takes away the very will to live there is generally only one outcome. Therefore it is imperative that we learn to cope with our soul stuckness before it occurs in such a lethal circumstance.
The following tip will help you deal with the lesser forms of soul stuckness and continue moving forward when your fears, failures, despairs, or emptiness threatens to freeze you in your tracks. Learn to step back and listen.
The soul and the emotions that bubble within it give us the energy to act. Some emotions will empower us to act. Others can absorb all the energy we need just to carry our emotional baggage. We rely on this energy to engage our will and live our lives. This energy can be redirected against ourselves. It can also be used up in fighting battles within our mind. In either case, it is unable to lead us beyond ourselves and into the world. We become stuck.
This emotional baggage gets in the way of meaningful relationships, purposeful goals, life-giving hopes, and life-inspiring dreams. In their place we experience a magnification of insecurities, fears, and uncertainties. In time we may cease to feel anything at all. We may feel nothing, numb to our lives.
As a Hospice Chaplain I had the opportunity to walk with quite a few couples as they prepared for the death of a spouse. With a few of the couples, when the death of the spouse occurred I could see the light go out in the eyes of the survivor. I, along with the team, could predict that the remaining spouse would be gone within 6 months or a year. I believe these people died of a broken heart. This is the ultimate expression of soul stuckness. Someone who had survived 80 or more years of changes succumbed when they became lost in their grief.
Because soul stuckness inevitably involved the paralysis of the will, it can be very difficult to overcome. When it takes away the very will to live there is generally only one outcome. Therefore it is imperative that we learn to cope with our soul stuckness before it occurs in such a lethal circumstance.
The following tip will help you deal with the lesser forms of soul stuckness and continue moving forward when your fears, failures, despairs, or emptiness threatens to freeze you in your tracks. Learn to step back and listen.
Tip - Step Back and Listen
I always found it confusing that nearly every person I have ever accompanied through a difficult time knew what they needed to do. It was seldom a lack of knowledge or skill. They needed courage and/or permission to take care of themselves.
As a young Pastor, I would address this by telling tell them what they needed to do. I soon discovered that as long as it was my idea they could play “Yes but…” and avoid doing anything. “You should see your doctor!” “Yes, but it will take weeks to get an appointment.” “You should talk to your friend!” “Yes, but they do not answer my calls.” “You should…” “Yes, but …” In time I learned that I needed to help them discover what they already knew and provide encouragement to follow through.
I would generally help them make this discovery by leading them to step back and listen to themselves. I may suggest they pretend they have a friend who is feeling stuck and ask them to talk through what they might say to their friend. Or, I may ask them to find some quiet time and just start writing everything they are feeling and doing about the situation. I have also encouraged them to set it all aside for a week and then come back to it when the events that caused the stuckness are not so fresh in their minds. Then I would engage them in listening to themselves. Often, as long as they had enough energy to listen through the “fog in their souls” they would be able to not only see their options but pull forth enough energy to give them a try. This is the essence of “Step Back and Listen.”
Step away from the emotions and engage your mind. Then listen to what it has to say. If this does not help you find enough energy to move forward, then I suggest you seek out a trusted companion or a professional to help you break out of your funk.
Soul stuckness can be quite serious. Do not allow it to advance until you have been paralyzed. Step back and find the strength you need to step out of yourself and into the world.
As a young Pastor, I would address this by telling tell them what they needed to do. I soon discovered that as long as it was my idea they could play “Yes but…” and avoid doing anything. “You should see your doctor!” “Yes, but it will take weeks to get an appointment.” “You should talk to your friend!” “Yes, but they do not answer my calls.” “You should…” “Yes, but …” In time I learned that I needed to help them discover what they already knew and provide encouragement to follow through.
I would generally help them make this discovery by leading them to step back and listen to themselves. I may suggest they pretend they have a friend who is feeling stuck and ask them to talk through what they might say to their friend. Or, I may ask them to find some quiet time and just start writing everything they are feeling and doing about the situation. I have also encouraged them to set it all aside for a week and then come back to it when the events that caused the stuckness are not so fresh in their minds. Then I would engage them in listening to themselves. Often, as long as they had enough energy to listen through the “fog in their souls” they would be able to not only see their options but pull forth enough energy to give them a try. This is the essence of “Step Back and Listen.”
Step away from the emotions and engage your mind. Then listen to what it has to say. If this does not help you find enough energy to move forward, then I suggest you seek out a trusted companion or a professional to help you break out of your funk.
Soul stuckness can be quite serious. Do not allow it to advance until you have been paralyzed. Step back and find the strength you need to step out of yourself and into the world.
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