Resilience is a good thing. We all need to be able to bounce when we stumble and fall. A little bounce helps us through disappointments, sudden changes, and surprises. But there is Bouncing Resilience and then there is Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy!
During the Holiday season we are exposed to the three too’s. TOO MUCH! TOO LITTLE! TOO LATE! There is too much to do, too much to eat, too much to buy, and too much to cook, etc. etc. But it is also a time for too little. There is too little energy, too little money, too little time, etc. etc. etc. All this boils down to too little too late. We try and get everything done and discover that we stared too late in the year, too late in the month, and too late in the day.
How do we respond? Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy! We careen through our chores, ricocheting off of one surprise after another. The grocery store is out of our spouse’s favorite Christmas Candy. Amazon just emailed you that your package would arrive after Christmas. The butter comes up one stick short for your family’s favorite cookie recipe. We bounce off one thing after another until all we do is react. The closer we get to December 25th, the more our reactions become over-reactions.
We keep telling ourselves that all we need to do is focus. We may remember the naïve wisdom of Dr. Charles Emerson Winchester as he lectured Hawkeye on how he planned to do meatball surgery. “I do one thing very well and then I move on.” The holidays, like the M.A.S.H operating room, seldom allows us the luxury of dealing with “one thing.” We have to be able to focus on multiple tasks while constantly rearranging their priority according to the shifting needs. Focusing on multiple points is the source of a soul’s distress during the holidays, especially when the tasks intertwine and conflict with one another.
Rather than focus, the one thing we need is often the thing that is in shortest supply. We need a quiet space so that we can calm the soul. Quiet can be very hard to come by during the holidays. But quiet can still the chatter that is shouting in our soul. It can quell the disappointments of missed deadlines and opportunities. It can allow us space to step back and look at our needs with new, unbiased eyes. Quiet, while rare during the holidays, is not impossible.
How can I quiet my soul so that I can enjoy the holidays?
During the Holiday season we are exposed to the three too’s. TOO MUCH! TOO LITTLE! TOO LATE! There is too much to do, too much to eat, too much to buy, and too much to cook, etc. etc. But it is also a time for too little. There is too little energy, too little money, too little time, etc. etc. etc. All this boils down to too little too late. We try and get everything done and discover that we stared too late in the year, too late in the month, and too late in the day.
How do we respond? Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy! We careen through our chores, ricocheting off of one surprise after another. The grocery store is out of our spouse’s favorite Christmas Candy. Amazon just emailed you that your package would arrive after Christmas. The butter comes up one stick short for your family’s favorite cookie recipe. We bounce off one thing after another until all we do is react. The closer we get to December 25th, the more our reactions become over-reactions.
We keep telling ourselves that all we need to do is focus. We may remember the naïve wisdom of Dr. Charles Emerson Winchester as he lectured Hawkeye on how he planned to do meatball surgery. “I do one thing very well and then I move on.” The holidays, like the M.A.S.H operating room, seldom allows us the luxury of dealing with “one thing.” We have to be able to focus on multiple tasks while constantly rearranging their priority according to the shifting needs. Focusing on multiple points is the source of a soul’s distress during the holidays, especially when the tasks intertwine and conflict with one another.
Rather than focus, the one thing we need is often the thing that is in shortest supply. We need a quiet space so that we can calm the soul. Quiet can be very hard to come by during the holidays. But quiet can still the chatter that is shouting in our soul. It can quell the disappointments of missed deadlines and opportunities. It can allow us space to step back and look at our needs with new, unbiased eyes. Quiet, while rare during the holidays, is not impossible.
How can I quiet my soul so that I can enjoy the holidays?
Tip - Centering
Classical Centering allows us to focus on what is most important and let go of the things that can wait. Fr. Thomas Keating taught a form of Centering Prayer that allowed the soul to rest in the quiet mystery of God and be refreshed by the encounter. Centering has been around for thousands of years. Jesus sought a lonely place during a particularly difficult time in his ministry. Buddha and Mohammed did the same. Lao Tzu sought quiet to ponder that which cannot be pondered. Native people have used spirit quests to re-center their lives. Centering is nothing new, but it is easily dismissed when life gets complicated.
I suggest that when we find ourselves caught up in bouncy-bouncy-bouncy of the holidays, it is time to re-center ourselves. By this I mean, re-center in ourselves. We forget who we are, what we are, and what we want to be when we spend our time reacting and over-reacting. In all the holiday doing we lose sight of being ourselves in this precious and fleeting moment in time. By recovering the center, we are able to enter the chaos of the holidays with a calm and quiet soul that discerns the path “with heart” without being distractes by things that only appear to be meaningful in the moment.
You will discover that your resilience will return as you lessen the pressure to perform a laundry list of tasks. You will increase the joy you find in living out of your center as you move from one task to the another. May you find that instead of TOO MUCH you find the blessing of having just enough to be who you want to be.
Blessings,
Bob
I suggest that when we find ourselves caught up in bouncy-bouncy-bouncy of the holidays, it is time to re-center ourselves. By this I mean, re-center in ourselves. We forget who we are, what we are, and what we want to be when we spend our time reacting and over-reacting. In all the holiday doing we lose sight of being ourselves in this precious and fleeting moment in time. By recovering the center, we are able to enter the chaos of the holidays with a calm and quiet soul that discerns the path “with heart” without being distractes by things that only appear to be meaningful in the moment.
- Take a few moments at the beginning of the day and find yourself. Do not focus on what you will be doing. Rather, ask yourself; “Who am I?” and “Who do I want to be today?” Keep your answers simple and straightforward. “I am Bob. I want to be a kind person today.” “I am my Mom’s daughter. I want to be a loving and attentive mother to my family.” These thoughts may change from day to day as you wake up to the new day ahead.
- Spend some time sitting with these thoughts. Allow them to become your mantra for the day. Allow them to fill in the crevices and cracks in your expectations. Allow them to sweeten your hopes. Hold them firmly in your mind so that your soul can find them when you need them.
- Begin your day by reciting these words. Recall them when the surprises, changes, and disappointments threaten your inner quiet. Let the words guide your soul and body throughout the day.
- When the day has come to a close, remember the words and celebrate the little victories. Forgive yourself for when you allowed the world to overrun your center. Embrace the night’s rest you will need when you rise from your bed in the morning.
You will discover that your resilience will return as you lessen the pressure to perform a laundry list of tasks. You will increase the joy you find in living out of your center as you move from one task to the another. May you find that instead of TOO MUCH you find the blessing of having just enough to be who you want to be.
Blessings,
Bob
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