Anyone who has ever watched any of the Chevy Chase “Vacation” movies will understand the phrase, “Family gatherings can be very risky.” Granted the movies are fiction and exaggerate the risks that we take, but they do help us see ourselves and our families when we gather.
Whenever the Dees or Roese Clans gathered there were several physical dangers we faced. The most common was over-eating, especially for Thanksgiving. The travel to and from could also be challenging, especially when the defroster stops working on the way home after New Year’s Eve with a light, freezing drizzle coming down. Even Summer gatherings can be dangerous when an impromptu baseball game is played using a Yucca for second Base. Family Gatherings can be risky.
When are focused on being together and excited about seeing family or friends, we may push the limits that would otherwise provide some restraint. We may take a second, or third piece of pumpkin pie just because it tastes so good. We may push through the night to arrive when we may be tired before we start. Or we may want to recover the days when we and our siblings were growing up and pushing each other’s buttons just for fun. Gathering as a family is a very complicated experience and requires that we be especially watchful for risky behaviors.
Whenever the Dees or Roese Clans gathered there were several physical dangers we faced. The most common was over-eating, especially for Thanksgiving. The travel to and from could also be challenging, especially when the defroster stops working on the way home after New Year’s Eve with a light, freezing drizzle coming down. Even Summer gatherings can be dangerous when an impromptu baseball game is played using a Yucca for second Base. Family Gatherings can be risky.
When are focused on being together and excited about seeing family or friends, we may push the limits that would otherwise provide some restraint. We may take a second, or third piece of pumpkin pie just because it tastes so good. We may push through the night to arrive when we may be tired before we start. Or we may want to recover the days when we and our siblings were growing up and pushing each other’s buttons just for fun. Gathering as a family is a very complicated experience and requires that we be especially watchful for risky behaviors.
Tip -- Saying Yes with Moderation
I know we talked about the importance of saying “No”, last week but our tip this week is learning to give ourself permission to say “Yes”.
It is so easy to say “Yes” without a “First Thought.” We may want that slice of pie, so “Yes” slips out before the mind asks the question. Eating is what the family does on holidays. “Yes” is the natural thing to do. “Yes” can be an automatic response to any of the holiday temptations. An automatic “Yes” is not a choice, it is a learned response not unlike Pavlov’s dogs. We need to give ourselves permission to say “Yes” by engaging the mind before the choice is made. By asking ourselves if this would be a good choice, we can think through your “Yes” and take responsibility for our self-care.
I realize that with thought that “Yes” can be hard to accept. For the most part, we want to be good. However, under most circumstances we can push the boundary a little. But, if the goal is moderation then we need to be empowered to make the choice in order to accept the consequences of our actions. This makes self-care of the body possible, even during the holiday family gatherings. That second piece of pie will not be horrible. The third however should have some serious thought behind it. Enjoy your holidays, but be safe. Happy Holidays!
It is so easy to say “Yes” without a “First Thought.” We may want that slice of pie, so “Yes” slips out before the mind asks the question. Eating is what the family does on holidays. “Yes” is the natural thing to do. “Yes” can be an automatic response to any of the holiday temptations. An automatic “Yes” is not a choice, it is a learned response not unlike Pavlov’s dogs. We need to give ourselves permission to say “Yes” by engaging the mind before the choice is made. By asking ourselves if this would be a good choice, we can think through your “Yes” and take responsibility for our self-care.
I realize that with thought that “Yes” can be hard to accept. For the most part, we want to be good. However, under most circumstances we can push the boundary a little. But, if the goal is moderation then we need to be empowered to make the choice in order to accept the consequences of our actions. This makes self-care of the body possible, even during the holiday family gatherings. That second piece of pie will not be horrible. The third however should have some serious thought behind it. Enjoy your holidays, but be safe. Happy Holidays!
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