General Information
Do you remember when you got your Driver’s License? For me, that was a day of liberation. I felt that I have taken a major step toward being a grown-up. I felt that I had arrived when my Mom allowed me to buy a car. I was 16 years old and had the whole world at my feet. All I needed was a little gasoline (at $.29 a gallon) and a map. I could go anywhere at any time. And then came the lessons in responsibility! I will not bore you with the details but we all had to learn to drive responsibly.
The same needs to be said about tiger riding. You see, tiger riding can be intoxicating! It is a form of stress addiction. We like the feel of dopamine flowing through our system. That is why it is called the “feel good” chemical. When we are riding the tiger, we congratulate ourselves on handling “adult responsibilities” and ignoring the damage we may be doing to our body, mind, and soul. In extreme addictions, we may even invent tigers to ride just to get the legal rush of chemicals along with the ego boost. And, if we fall off, we can bandage our bruised ego by saying, “I gave it my best. I tried.” Indeed, tiger riding can be very, very intoxicating and dangerous.
This is precisely why we need to be responsible in our tiger riding. Using the new driver example, we need to recognize that we have control over the car/tiger and that bad driving will have negative consequences. We need to discipline our driving/riding so that we can choose how well we drive. If you drive/ride a crowded freeway you have likely encountered people do not drive responsibly. They take unnecessary risks that endanger themselves and others. They do not have a reasonable discipline over their emotions or their driving skills. They ignore the rules and complain about those who do.
When we are addicted to the ride, we ignore the reasonable consequences of our actions. We allow the ride to dictate how we respond to situations. We may not even be aware of the dangers we are facing. All we know is that we are on a tiger and, if we were honest, enjoying it! We are driven by our need to stay on that Tiger at all costs. Note: we are driven by, rather than driving our tiger!
For most teenagers, it will take an accident or two to get their attention. Grown-ups also have to have an accident or two while tiger riding before we start accepting responsibility. A mild heart attack, the loss of a job we really liked, or the loss of a significant relationship can get our attention. Sometimes we learn and sometimes we don’t. And sometimes we do not have the opportunity to learn just as some teenagers never have the opportunity to grow-up. Be responsible in riding your tigers.
The same needs to be said about tiger riding. You see, tiger riding can be intoxicating! It is a form of stress addiction. We like the feel of dopamine flowing through our system. That is why it is called the “feel good” chemical. When we are riding the tiger, we congratulate ourselves on handling “adult responsibilities” and ignoring the damage we may be doing to our body, mind, and soul. In extreme addictions, we may even invent tigers to ride just to get the legal rush of chemicals along with the ego boost. And, if we fall off, we can bandage our bruised ego by saying, “I gave it my best. I tried.” Indeed, tiger riding can be very, very intoxicating and dangerous.
This is precisely why we need to be responsible in our tiger riding. Using the new driver example, we need to recognize that we have control over the car/tiger and that bad driving will have negative consequences. We need to discipline our driving/riding so that we can choose how well we drive. If you drive/ride a crowded freeway you have likely encountered people do not drive responsibly. They take unnecessary risks that endanger themselves and others. They do not have a reasonable discipline over their emotions or their driving skills. They ignore the rules and complain about those who do.
When we are addicted to the ride, we ignore the reasonable consequences of our actions. We allow the ride to dictate how we respond to situations. We may not even be aware of the dangers we are facing. All we know is that we are on a tiger and, if we were honest, enjoying it! We are driven by our need to stay on that Tiger at all costs. Note: we are driven by, rather than driving our tiger!
For most teenagers, it will take an accident or two to get their attention. Grown-ups also have to have an accident or two while tiger riding before we start accepting responsibility. A mild heart attack, the loss of a job we really liked, or the loss of a significant relationship can get our attention. Sometimes we learn and sometimes we don’t. And sometimes we do not have the opportunity to learn just as some teenagers never have the opportunity to grow-up. Be responsible in riding your tigers.
TIPS -- Accepting Responsibility
For me, responsible has an alternate spelling that can prove helpful, response-able. When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by too many tasks and too little time, be honest with yourself. Did you create this or did this happen beyond your control?
Not having the ability to say “No” to requests can put us on the back of a tiger. Not being aware of our limits or boundaries will also land us on a galloping tiger. Being more concerned with how others think about us than about our own health and well-being is an express lane to a tiger ride. If boredom during downtime leads you to filling up the hole in your day with projects, you have just climbed on the back of the tiger. In each of these situations, you have the power to choose. You are able to respond. You are response-able. But only if you ride responsibly!
I encourage you to acknowledge your power over the tiger. I will close this series on self-care while riding the tiger with the words of Yoda. When it comes to accepting responsibility for our rides “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Not having the ability to say “No” to requests can put us on the back of a tiger. Not being aware of our limits or boundaries will also land us on a galloping tiger. Being more concerned with how others think about us than about our own health and well-being is an express lane to a tiger ride. If boredom during downtime leads you to filling up the hole in your day with projects, you have just climbed on the back of the tiger. In each of these situations, you have the power to choose. You are able to respond. You are response-able. But only if you ride responsibly!
I encourage you to acknowledge your power over the tiger. I will close this series on self-care while riding the tiger with the words of Yoda. When it comes to accepting responsibility for our rides “Do or do not. There is no try.”
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