Every year, spiritual directors, life coaches and other modern gurus pause to offer advice on how to get through the holidays. Our advice usually includes a series of Don’ts.
Don’t over spend.
Don’t over eat.
Don’t drink too much.
Don’t stay out too late.
Some of us have softened that advice a bit by transforming them into “Do” statements.
Do set a budget and stick to it.
Do pay attention to what you eat and choose well.
Do socialize but drink responsibly.
Do get enough sleep.
In general, this advice can be categorized as a plea for excessive moderation during the holidays. “In all things, be moderate!” ‘Let you watch words be “Neither too much, nor too little.”’ “Just enough is more than enough.” “One cookie is better than two.” “One moderately priced present is better than two or even one extravagantly priced gift. It’s the thought that counts.” “Who needs a full week when a few days will be enough.” “Moderation is the key that unlocks the joy of the holidays.” Or so we are told.
I have one word for this advice, but my Momma told me not to use words like that. So, I will have to let you use your imagination. “&*^%$@*&!” We can and do become stressed during the holidays and moderation simply adds another reason for it. We stress out over our moderation. The temptations of the holidays cause enough stress. But the guilt of failing to live up to the absolute moderation of the gurus creates a whole new class of stress, increased shame for not having more “control” over ourselves. This spiritual anguish can destroy more joy than the calories from that second cookie.
For this holiday season, I invite you to add one simple statement to this advice. Make moderation your watch word, but do not take moderation to excess.
Don’t over spend.
Don’t over eat.
Don’t drink too much.
Don’t stay out too late.
Some of us have softened that advice a bit by transforming them into “Do” statements.
Do set a budget and stick to it.
Do pay attention to what you eat and choose well.
Do socialize but drink responsibly.
Do get enough sleep.
In general, this advice can be categorized as a plea for excessive moderation during the holidays. “In all things, be moderate!” ‘Let you watch words be “Neither too much, nor too little.”’ “Just enough is more than enough.” “One cookie is better than two.” “One moderately priced present is better than two or even one extravagantly priced gift. It’s the thought that counts.” “Who needs a full week when a few days will be enough.” “Moderation is the key that unlocks the joy of the holidays.” Or so we are told.
I have one word for this advice, but my Momma told me not to use words like that. So, I will have to let you use your imagination. “&*^%$@*&!” We can and do become stressed during the holidays and moderation simply adds another reason for it. We stress out over our moderation. The temptations of the holidays cause enough stress. But the guilt of failing to live up to the absolute moderation of the gurus creates a whole new class of stress, increased shame for not having more “control” over ourselves. This spiritual anguish can destroy more joy than the calories from that second cookie.
For this holiday season, I invite you to add one simple statement to this advice. Make moderation your watch word, but do not take moderation to excess.
TIP - Lagniappe
I offer you a wonderful word, “Lagniappe” - a little something extra! The French-speaking people in and around the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean use this word to describe what it means to honor their customers and friends. They add a little something extra. This came out of the practice of a “baker’s Dozen” where a medieval clerk would add another cookie to a dozen just to make sure that they were not flogged for short-changing the customer. But the people of the Gulf and Caribbean took it as a way of celebrating their customers.
Such celebration is, by definition, an excess. It comes from a Latin word that means to honor something important. It means stepping beyond our day-to-day lives and enjoying something that stirs the deeper currents in life. Deeper joy, deeper reverence, deeper love, deeper hope, deeper trust, etc. Christians celebrate the eucharist. Jews celebrate the Passover. Muslims celebrate Ramadan. We celebrate birthdays, weddings, baptisms. The word holiday is a contraction for “Holy day” which implies that it speaks to something deeper than the everyday. It calls for an honoring that is beyond the ordinary, a celebration. An excess of celebration than would usually take place if it was just a Tuesday rather than Christmas.
I invite you to moderate your moderation so that you can truly celebrate these deeper currents.
Enjoy that extra cookie, just not a dozen. Take a walk in the park over your lunch hour rather than eating at your desk. Just be sure you get back before the lunch hour is over. Spend an evening out with friends even if it costs you a few hours of sleep. Just make sure you do not fill your week with late nights. Don’t break the bank but go for that little extravagance for your spouse. Celebrate your love and honor their love for you with the delight it will bring to you both. Take a few days with the kids playing in the snow. That memory will be worth it.
Lagniappe! Celebrate! Honor the holy days! Let a little excess ignite the warming glow of joy during these special days!
Such celebration is, by definition, an excess. It comes from a Latin word that means to honor something important. It means stepping beyond our day-to-day lives and enjoying something that stirs the deeper currents in life. Deeper joy, deeper reverence, deeper love, deeper hope, deeper trust, etc. Christians celebrate the eucharist. Jews celebrate the Passover. Muslims celebrate Ramadan. We celebrate birthdays, weddings, baptisms. The word holiday is a contraction for “Holy day” which implies that it speaks to something deeper than the everyday. It calls for an honoring that is beyond the ordinary, a celebration. An excess of celebration than would usually take place if it was just a Tuesday rather than Christmas.
I invite you to moderate your moderation so that you can truly celebrate these deeper currents.
Enjoy that extra cookie, just not a dozen. Take a walk in the park over your lunch hour rather than eating at your desk. Just be sure you get back before the lunch hour is over. Spend an evening out with friends even if it costs you a few hours of sleep. Just make sure you do not fill your week with late nights. Don’t break the bank but go for that little extravagance for your spouse. Celebrate your love and honor their love for you with the delight it will bring to you both. Take a few days with the kids playing in the snow. That memory will be worth it.
Lagniappe! Celebrate! Honor the holy days! Let a little excess ignite the warming glow of joy during these special days!
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