We have made it through the Holidays, almost! One more week and we will close out the year and complete our holiday journey. Most of us are feeling some relief. We made it, so far! There may have been moments when stress began to grow, but we were able to manage them. Regardless, few will have lasting scars. But we may have memories of what we could have done better.
It is important to remember that the holidays have not caused the stress we have experienced over the last month. They may have provided the opportunity, but we are the authors of our own holiday stress. Sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph, and page by page we have scripted stress into our lives. We invited it into our holidays with unreasonable expectations, unrealistic goals, refusing help, and fighting our way through on sheer determination and grit.
The holidays are intended to be opportunities for celebration, honoring something important in our lives. The holidays are times to honor the families that surround us, the faith that sustains us, the year we are completing, and the year that is waiting on the doorstep. For some there may have been moments of renewed grief over loved ones who are no longer with us. For some, there were moments when we tried to make everyone happy. There were moments when we leaned heavily on our faith and may have felt like it was not enough. For some there were moments when we felt regret for past disappointments and anxiety over an unrealized future. The honoring became difficult as the stress began to build.
We cannot control the circumstances, but we can control the stress we experience when grief, disappointment, regret, and anxiety show themselves. The ancient spiritual leaders of many traditions talk about “letting go” and “detachment.” These words recognize that holding on to something is a choice we make. When we hold on to disappointment, regret will grow. When we hold on to anger, fear will take root. When we hold on to our losses, grief will take root. If we fight to resist these very natural responses, stress will spread like Kudzu over a Southern Forest.
But letting go is not as simple as opening our hand. It takes a deeper awareness of how “holding on” and “attachments” create our sense of being and purpose. Letting go and detaching demands a growing sense of who we are in our body-mind-soul. Once we come to see grief, anxiety, disappointment, and fear as a part of who we are, the stress begins to melt away. We no longer fight against the currents and allow them to carry us to new lands of living and self-understanding. By letting go of the desire to control them we find new lives dawning with the new year. That detachment makes all the difference.
We have one more week of the holidays. As we prepare to enter the new year, let go of your need to control the life that awaits you. Acknowledge your companions, even those that cause you pain. Allow them to help you become better acquainted with your body-mind-soul. Leave stress behind and celebrate the person you are becoming. Honor your grief, anger, disappointment, fear, and anxiety. They are teaching you wondrous things about the new you in 2019.
Happy New Year,
Bob
It is important to remember that the holidays have not caused the stress we have experienced over the last month. They may have provided the opportunity, but we are the authors of our own holiday stress. Sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph, and page by page we have scripted stress into our lives. We invited it into our holidays with unreasonable expectations, unrealistic goals, refusing help, and fighting our way through on sheer determination and grit.
The holidays are intended to be opportunities for celebration, honoring something important in our lives. The holidays are times to honor the families that surround us, the faith that sustains us, the year we are completing, and the year that is waiting on the doorstep. For some there may have been moments of renewed grief over loved ones who are no longer with us. For some, there were moments when we tried to make everyone happy. There were moments when we leaned heavily on our faith and may have felt like it was not enough. For some there were moments when we felt regret for past disappointments and anxiety over an unrealized future. The honoring became difficult as the stress began to build.
We cannot control the circumstances, but we can control the stress we experience when grief, disappointment, regret, and anxiety show themselves. The ancient spiritual leaders of many traditions talk about “letting go” and “detachment.” These words recognize that holding on to something is a choice we make. When we hold on to disappointment, regret will grow. When we hold on to anger, fear will take root. When we hold on to our losses, grief will take root. If we fight to resist these very natural responses, stress will spread like Kudzu over a Southern Forest.
But letting go is not as simple as opening our hand. It takes a deeper awareness of how “holding on” and “attachments” create our sense of being and purpose. Letting go and detaching demands a growing sense of who we are in our body-mind-soul. Once we come to see grief, anxiety, disappointment, and fear as a part of who we are, the stress begins to melt away. We no longer fight against the currents and allow them to carry us to new lands of living and self-understanding. By letting go of the desire to control them we find new lives dawning with the new year. That detachment makes all the difference.
We have one more week of the holidays. As we prepare to enter the new year, let go of your need to control the life that awaits you. Acknowledge your companions, even those that cause you pain. Allow them to help you become better acquainted with your body-mind-soul. Leave stress behind and celebrate the person you are becoming. Honor your grief, anger, disappointment, fear, and anxiety. They are teaching you wondrous things about the new you in 2019.
Happy New Year,
Bob
FYI
Next week I will begin a three week break as I take a vacation and open an office for Spiritual Direction at First Christian Church of Pasadena. I will see folks on Thursdays by appointment only. Email me for more information at [email protected]. See you on 1/23/19 when we will begin exploring Self-Care when we begin new journeys in life. Happy New Year! BD
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