For the last few weeks we have been exploring the importance of the caregiver taking good care of themselves. Self-care is always a challenge. We are far more likely to focus on taking care of others. We may see self-care as selfish, narcissistic, too much trouble, or simply a needless bother. We dismiss and disregard our needs and stay busy taking care of someone else.
However, there may come a point where the dismissal of our needs may become more difficult. We may have exhausted our resources in self-care and cannot continue. At that point we may start playing the Blame Game.
“I would not be in this position …
…If they (the patient) would have taken better care of themselves.”
…If I had just had a little help from my sisters or brothers.”
…If our healthcare system really cared about our well-being.”
In short, when we have disregarded our self-care and have reached the end of our rope it is anyone else’s fault but our own. Our health has suffered because we stopped eating right, getting exercise, or going to the doctor. Our money may run out because we have been living on savings in order to be with Mom full-time. We may feel lonely and isolated because we have stopped making contact with our friends. We now have no reason to get out of bed because Mom and Dad have died and we have no one left to focus on. The blame game becomes our only refuge from the emptiness in our soul.
Being a Caregiver is a gift! To be able to care for our Mom or Dad as age and infirmity take their toll can be a life changing experience. It can reacquaint us with parents who have become strangers to us. It can open our hearts and minds to ourselves in ways that are unique and deeply enriching. It can help us find a deeper meaning and purpose for our lives. It can show us that we are an essential part of the “Circle of Life.”
But, like any other gift, caregiving must be received and used responsibly. We must keep it in perspective and not allow it to swallow who we are. We must recognize when it is taking over and be able to step back and rediscover ourselves apart from our caregiving. It means staying in touch with our needs and doing what is necessary to address them.
Stay in touch with your care-giving as a gift to you and your loved one. The blessings it offers will continue to arrive each day.
Blessed caregiving, my friends.
Bob
However, there may come a point where the dismissal of our needs may become more difficult. We may have exhausted our resources in self-care and cannot continue. At that point we may start playing the Blame Game.
“I would not be in this position …
…If they (the patient) would have taken better care of themselves.”
…If I had just had a little help from my sisters or brothers.”
…If our healthcare system really cared about our well-being.”
In short, when we have disregarded our self-care and have reached the end of our rope it is anyone else’s fault but our own. Our health has suffered because we stopped eating right, getting exercise, or going to the doctor. Our money may run out because we have been living on savings in order to be with Mom full-time. We may feel lonely and isolated because we have stopped making contact with our friends. We now have no reason to get out of bed because Mom and Dad have died and we have no one left to focus on. The blame game becomes our only refuge from the emptiness in our soul.
Being a Caregiver is a gift! To be able to care for our Mom or Dad as age and infirmity take their toll can be a life changing experience. It can reacquaint us with parents who have become strangers to us. It can open our hearts and minds to ourselves in ways that are unique and deeply enriching. It can help us find a deeper meaning and purpose for our lives. It can show us that we are an essential part of the “Circle of Life.”
But, like any other gift, caregiving must be received and used responsibly. We must keep it in perspective and not allow it to swallow who we are. We must recognize when it is taking over and be able to step back and rediscover ourselves apart from our caregiving. It means staying in touch with our needs and doing what is necessary to address them.
Stay in touch with your care-giving as a gift to you and your loved one. The blessings it offers will continue to arrive each day.
Blessed caregiving, my friends.
Bob
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