​As a teenage boy in the 1960’s, I knew and appreciated the number associated with the following formula, 0 to 60 mph.  Your status and value as a human being in that car-centric culture depended on it.  Unfortunately, by flathead ’53 Ford with a three-speed manual trans did not really allow me much status or value.  Even with the addition of a slapstick on the floor, I could not compete with Jim’s ’68 GTO or even my best friend’s Barracuda.  It seemed that my best time could not measure up to those in the 10 second range.  0 to 60 mph is a good measurement for teenager’s cars.  However, it is not so good as an analogy for taking care of our body when Spring finally arrives.
 
When Spring comes we are eager to get outside and enjoy the warmth and sunshine.  Some are eager to get started on that tan or “beach body.”  For others, they cannot wait to get the flower beds and garden cleared of weeds and prepare the ground for a new crop or planting.  Many folks have grown weary of being inside and the “couch potato” existence of the last few months.  They hit the trails on foot and on bikes to stretch out and exercise bored muscles.  When these activities are guided by a teenager’s “0 – 60” mentality, bad things can happen.
 
A friend of mine in High School received a brand-new Corvette during his senior year.  It was clearly the coolest and most impressive car in the parking lot.  He was the envy of every teen in the school.  Unfortunately, he did not have his “Yellow Rocket” for very long.  In an attempt to prove his status and value, he put it in a ditch after reaching 60 mph on a gravel backroad.  He was not physically hurt, but is ego took a real pounding.  He did not take the time he needed to adjust to his new ride.  He had neither the reflexes nor the skills to handle that beast.  He was unprepared to push the limits.
 
In a similar way, we need to take the time to prepare our body for the coming of Spring.  We may want to do a few muscle-stretches before venturing into the yard.  We may want to rely on a fairly high SPF cream before challenging the Springtime sun.  We may want to adjust our expectations and goals before striking out on that first 10-mile trail or 50-mile bike ride.
 
0 – 60 is very tempting.  But with a little self-awareness and a solid dose of reality checking, we will be able to find our way into a number we can enjoy.  But for the first month or so, a little wisdom will help you reach the “10 second” goal much quicker.  It will help you avoid finding yourself in a “ditch.”

​Warming Up – Take the time to stretch winter-tightened muscles and loosen those still winter-bound joints.  Stretch just to the point of discomfort but short of pain.  Muscles and joints pushed deep into pain tend to overreact.  Allow them to warm with the temperature.
 
Setting Realistic Goals – Give yourself plenty of time to get through your Springtime activities.  Avoid full-timing your Springtime lifestyle.  Over goal-setting steals away the joy of Spring.
 
Play and Work Smart – Brute force is not the only way to get into the Spring of life.  Use the wheelbarrow rather than trying to carry that pile of brush.  Get help for those two-person jobs.  Hydrate yourself frequently.
 
Enjoy the Season – Above all, enjoy the season.  It is a time of new life.  Engage and celebrate all that is growing and blooming around you.  Allow it to create the energy to motivate you to get out and enjoy the day.

A Few Risks of Spring Time
 
The Importance of Warming Up
 
Staying Safe

Memories is more than recalled stories from our past.  They are recovered experiences of events.  They include the story as well as feelings and physical sensations.  These “physical memories” can be even more powerful than the story itself.  A particular smell can lead you to recall a story that is long forgotten.  Walking into a room and smelling a perfume can immediately recall the person you knew.  Seeing an old picture can awaken emotions along buried within the story.  When these physical memories trigger a painful memory, they can cascade and lead you into sadness or despair from the original event.  Physical experiences can trigger and awaken a memory that you believed had been put to rest.
 
Memories can also work in reverse.  A painful memory can change your sense of physical well-being as well.  When a painful memory bubbles up from deep within, it can have the same physical effects as the original experience.  If a memory made you feel faint or sick to your stomach, the memory can trigger the same symptoms.  When a painful memory stays in your mind it can have a debilitating effect on our immune system.  The stress created by the memory can lead to physical sickness.
 
The ancients were correct.  We are not a body with a spirit.  We are spirits who are dependent on a body.  The connections are deep.  A painful memory will be remembered in your body-mind-soul.  Teach yourself to identify the external and physical triggers that bring those memories to life.

​

1. Acknowledge that your emotions belong to you, they are not caused by anything or anyone “out there.”
2. Learn to recognize the physical signs that a strong emotional reaction of guilt, shame, anger, or sadness is rising within yourself.
3. Take note of what is happening around you in that moment.
4. Spend some time connecting those circumstances and your feelings with other times you have felt this way.
5. Over time, as similar feelings and circumstances occur, the trigger will become evident.

 
Triggers help us to better understand and connect our present experience to our memory.  In doing so, they will allow us to keep the past in the past.  This frees us to deal with the present circumstances in the present.

Emotions and the Body
 
Emotional Triggers
 
Identifying Emotional Triggers
​

​How does overthinking express itself in the body, the physical world?  We can observe overthinking when we are over engaged in doing stuff.  Physical overthinking happens when we do things that will not likely have any real effect on the outcome but our heart and soul prods us into doing them anyway.   It has been called “majoring in minors” and “spinning our wheels.”  It often occurs when we act look too far down the road and believe that we have the power and responsibility to prevent the accident that might happen.
 
We act on our overthinking when we engage the world at the whims of our monkey mind.  The most famous fictional over thinker was Don Quixote.  Cervantes’ character was compelled to joust with a windmill out of the danger that the windmill/knight represented to the world.  His delusion grew out of his overthinking and expressed itself in his taking actions that were meaningless and foolish.
 
When we overthink ourselves, we delude ourselves into thinking we can meet the imaginary threats that loom just over the horizon.  We assume a power over the future that does not exist We act in ways that are, at best, comical and, at worst, dangerous to our and other’s well-being.  This is especially true when our overthinking spurs us into becoming over-reactive.  We may take draconian measures against problems that have only occurred in our minds.
 
A few weeks ago, I was driving down the expressway following a white sedan.  I saw brake lights come on about a ½ mile ahead and started to slow down. In that moment, the brake lights on the car in front of me came on and they came to an immediate stop in the lane.  Fortunately, I had enough room to pass them in on the shoulder, thus avoiding an accident.  The other car then began to move ahead very slowly, creeping their way up to the slowdown.  Overthinking can lead to over-reacting with foolish and/or dangerous consequences.

Overthinking tends to focus on a future that is completely out of reach in the present.  Therefore, the skill that can help our body avoid overreaching because of our overthinking, is to focus on the present.  We can accomplish this by focusing our actions on areas and in ways that will address real problems that are within reach.  In other words, define and live within your realm of control and impact.
 
A few things to consider:

• Accept the present for what it is without sacrificing your hope for the future.
• Acknowledge that you can makes changes that will affect the future but they are limited to the reach of your hands and your voice.
• Be a Serial Single-tasker.   You may not complete a single task in one sitting but it is okay to set is aside as you deal with another task.  It will still be there when you return to it.
• Do not allow the imagined rewards or fears of tomorrow to hide the opportunities of the present.
• Cultivate gratitude.

 
“Tomorrow is tomorrow.
Future cares have future cures,
And we must mind today.” ~ Sophocles
 

Stop Overthinking and Start Living
 
Living in the Present
 
How To Stay Focused

​The human body is not designed to weather the physical seasons like those creatures in the natural world.  Their bodies have learned to adapt to their climate.  We, however, have relied on making intentional changes in our lives so that we can survive in the extremes of the seasons.  This resilience has enabled humanity to inhabit every square inch of our planet.  The key is resilience.  This same capacity allows us to withstand the challenges to our physical lives as we go through the seasons of our daily living, as well.
 
Resilience can be understood as the ability to bounce, as in bounce back from difficult circumstances.  Our bodies experience stress when we face great changes.  Our immune system is less able to fight off infection.  Our bodies may not work as effectively.  We may have difficulty digesting our food or getting enough rest.  Even when we are in the middle of a “good” season we may not be able to keep up, physically, with the demands that are being placed on us.  As we move through these seasons, we will experience changes in how our bodies respond.
 
There are two primary ways we can enhance our capacity for physical resilience.  The most effective is to be proactive.  As we learn about ourselves and how our bodies react, we can take steps to lessen the effects of the change of the seasons in our life.  If, for example, we know that we will have difficulty getting enough sleep when we are very busy with “Springtime-like living”, we can anticipate this by resting up before the season sets in.  Or, when the “winter-time” appears on our horizon we can take steps to make sure we get things done so that we will not fall behind.  By acting proactively in anticipation of the change in our daily living we can reduce the stress that change may force on us.
 
The second response is to be reactive to the changes wrought by the “seasons of living”.  Either we were unable to see the change coming or we chose not to act in anticipation.  A reactive response will seldom be as effective, but it can help us through.  During a time of great energy and activity, a reactive response would be to step away for a brief respite.  These mini-breaks can help you get through.  Likewise, when we face a long cold season where we have little energy and less desire to do anything, we can find a hobby or some other diversion that we ramp up our doing.  These brief breaks will allow us t, once again, get through.  Do not expect these coping mechanisms to do away with eth effects of the change, but they can make life a bit more bearable.
 
By accepting responsibility for our physical wellness in good times and bad, we can act, either proactively or reactively, and continue to enjoy good, if not great, physical health.

Pay attention to your body.  This may obvious, but many of our illnesses occur because we do not “pay attention.”  We refuse to admit that we have a “cold” coming on.  We believe that we are magically immune because an illness is not convenient at the moment.  Or, we disregard the symptoms and push ourselves into illness.  The first tip for Physical Self-care when experiencing changes in life’s seasons, is to recognize and listen your body.  It will tell you what you need to do.
 
Give yourself permission to accept your physical limitations. Once again, this may seem obvious, but most people over estimate their physical stamina.  We will push and push until our body says stop.  In physical training, we are taught to push our muscles to just beneath to point of being stretched or torn.  We gain speed by gradually increasing our distances.  Few people run a 26.2-mile marathon as their first race.  We train up our stamina.  This will only succeed if we are able to accept our physical limitations and, by paying attention to our body, stop short of destructive behaviors.
 
Learn to read the seasons.  As I suggested last week, be aware of the season and adjust your physical activities and expectations accordingly.  Claim the gift of the season and reduce the effects of the challenges of the season.  When illness leads you into a winter moment, allow yourself to rest with only brief break of activity.  When you are feeling the warmth of a Summer Sun “shining in your life, take advantage of it and push yourself a bit more, recognizing that brief breaks will still be necessary.  Read the seasons and live accordingly.
 
The Road to Resilience

​Passion and determination are admirable qualities.  The “git-r-done” attitude is part of the American character and is celebrated in popular culture.  We bestow high honors on those who have a “fire in the belly” for the common good.  We are told to pursue our passions with uncompromising commitment if we want to claim our share of the American Dream.   Unfortunately, we pay a very high price for this part of the American Character.
 
When we push this idea to the extreme we end up being disconnected from our own bodies.  This is “no pain, no gain” carried out to the greatest degree.  We push through not only our pain but through the suffering that grows out of it.  Pain tells us that our body has reached its threshold of efficiency.  Pushing just beyond that point allows the body to stretch and grow in strength and endurance.  When this is done a little at a time under a disciplined, well-monitored plan, we can do extraordinary things.  But, when the pain begins tearing away at our bodies, causing damage, it becomes suffering.  In order to continue pushing we must disconnect ourselves from the pain and the suffering it has caused.  This causes very real, long-term damage to our lives.
 
But, there is another devastating result of this disconnection.  As we become disconnected from our own suffering we also become disconnected from the suffering of others.  As we deny the physical consequences of our actions in our own bodies, we, in turn, deny the physical consequences for those around us.  By becoming insensitive to the suffering of others our capacity for empathy and understanding slips away.  We become less capable of responding to the suffering of others and our spirit withers as we descend into a Radical Individualist, devoid of a social conscience or commitment.  We become part of a self-destructive society.  Granted, this is the extreme scenario but, if we are honest, we can see evidence of this in our daily lives. 
 
This does not deny the value of disciplined, well-planned exercise or commitments to our passions.  But is does reflect an underlying current in our lives that places individual achievement, rather than the common good, as the final arbiter of value and worth.  Ultimately, this leads to increased suffering for ourselves and those with whom we live.

​Breathing air is not an individual event.  We all breathe the same air, literally.  How many times has the air in your lungs been inhaled and exhaled?  How many times has it been taken in and pushed out by the plants and animals that have inhabited the planet earth from the dawn of life? 
 
The ancients believed that the air we breathe is like the spirit that infused our bodies with life.  They noticed that when we ceased to breath we ceased to live.  The last exhale signified death.  Many of the ancient languages claimed the word for wind or air to describe and denote breath and spirit.  Each breath we take has been breathed by untold billions of plants and animals.  It connects us with one another in a profound way.  We are of one breath, one spirit, and it reminds us that we are alive and connected to all life that has ever existed.
 
With these ideas in your mind, I invite you to engage in a breathing exercise when you feel yourself being tempted to disconnect from your body.
 

• Find a quiet place and allow your mind and body to settle into a comfortable, upright position.
• Become aware of your breathing.  Listen for and focus on the breath as it is drawn into your body.  Allow the sensations of inhaling to claim your whole thoughts.
• Hold that breath for a few seconds and then release it slowly through your mouth.
• As you breathe in, repeat to yourself silently, “I am a living being.”
• As you hold the breath, repeat to yourself, “I am part of a living creation.”
• As you release your breath, repeat to yourself, “I share my life with all living things.”

 
By remembering our interdependence with others for the air we breathe we will find it easier to step back from the brink of self-destruction from being disconnected from our bodies and embrace our place in the living creation called life.

Beyond Pain
 
Pneuma – The Spirit
 
Breath and Life

​Youth convinces us that we are physically invincible.  Illness and disease are nothing more than occasional inconveniences.  Thus, we use and abuse our bodies because we believe that they are resilient.  Many will carry this mythology of invincibility into middle age.  We may even pride ourselves on how much punishment our body can take.  Unfortunately, one of the major lessons of maturity is recognizing that all choices have consequences and this is especially true when we are dealing with our physical bodies.
 
Riding the Tiger means that we are totally focused on dealing with our immediate needs.  The essence of this experience is that we are unable to look ahead or reflect on what has already occurred.  We are unable to see the damage we have done or are doing to ourselves.  We may ignore the pain because we are just trying to hold on.  We do not treat the injuries because we are too engaged in “git-r-done” thinking.  Negative consequences accumulate and soon they may overwhelm us.  We may believe we are invincible, but our bodies know differently.
 
The false sense of invincibility increases our risk of physical accident or injury.  Risk-taking may be necessary but is advisable only when it is accompanied by well-informed and reasoned choices.  Skipping meals and pushing beyond the limits will have bad results.  Bad habits (smoking, alcohol or drug abuse) will destroy our health.  Ignoring those chest pains or moles that are changing shape will lead to sickness and death.  They are not worth the risk.
 
Invincibility also increases our vulnerability to infections.  One of the substances our body produces when under stress is cortisol.  According to many researchers, cortisol suppresses the immune system.  Infections gain a foot hold and can overwhelm our natural defenses.  This is why we often become physically ill after a long period of stressful tiger riding.  The body finally has a chance to fight back.  That fighting back is called illness.
 
Invincibility also limits our capacity for creative responses.  We do not feel we have the time to work out new solutions so we stick with tried and true behaviors.  We Keep doing what we have always done.  Unfortunately, as we age, our bodies do change and what may have worked well for us at 20 may not be so helpful at 40.  When we are 20, we may be able to function on 3-4 hours of sleep at night.  At age 20 we could pull an all-nighter studying for exams fueled by pizza and beer.  At 20, we may be able to shake off that “cold” with extra Vitamin C.  But these may not be so successful at 40.  When riding the tiger, new circumstances require new responses to avoid the same old consequences.  Changing (aging) bodies always create new circumstances.
 
Riding the Tiger has physical consequences whether we acknowledge them or not.  We do not have to believe them for them to be real.  Consequences for our choices will come and if we choose poorly, we will pay for them with illness, injury, disability, or even death.  Physical Self-Care while riding the tiger is essential.

​I have three tips for dealing with the physical consequences of tiger riding.
 
First, Pay Attention to Your Body.  Be aware of changes in your body.  This may include noticing changes in eating, “routine” aches or pains, or daily patterns of sleep and digestion.  It is also important to get regular medical check-ups to discover the hidden changes in our body. 
 
Second, Accept you Vulnerabilities.  If it hurts, don’t do it!  If it is causing you harm, don’t do it.  We all have physical limitations.  We may have diabetes, heart problems, asthma, or other less serious limitations.  Some people do well on 4-6 hours of sleep while others need 7-9.  For some, wounds heal quickly.  For others, it may take longer.  When riding the tiger, keep in mind these limitations and accept that they indicate that you may be more vulnerable under certain circumstances.  Know your limitations and do not ignore them.
 
Lastly, Turn Off the Autopilot.  Accept responsibility for every choice by taking change as a reality.  Every tiger is different.  We are different every time we find ourselves on a tiger.  By simply doing what we have always done, we are shirking our responsibility and making ourselves a victim of our past choices.  Being vulnerable in a changing body can be very frustrating, especially when we are trying to not fall off.  But easing that frustration with autopilot is not worth the consequences to your physical health. 
 
Take care of your body before and during your tiger trips through life.  We only get one body and it deserves our care and concern.

Signs that we are Listening to our Body
 
Stress and the Immune system
 
Accepting Responsibility for Ourselves

​Enter any Nursing Home in the US and you will see the results of physical loneliness.  Residents will be sitting in wheelchairs staring out the window, backed against a wall with head bent over, or wandering the hallways as if they have lost their last friend.  These people are lonely.  They may be depressed and withdrawn.  Many are widows or widowers whose children have busy lives to live.  These folks are lonely.  They are seldom touched except by healthcare professionals.  There are few hands to hold or arms to embrace them.  They are not simply alone, they are lonely.
 
Have you ever been so physically lonely that you wander around your house?  Have you every yearned for someone to just hold your hand or hold you in a friendly embrace?  Have you ever sat and stared out at the world not feeling part of it any longer and aching for someone to pull up a chair and just sit close by for a while?  If so, you have experienced physical loneliness.
 
By contrast, such moments can be transformed into life-giving solitude.  Solitude develops when we get InTouch with ourselves.  InTouch means becoming present to our physical selves.  Being InTouch may include physically touching yourself, but it can also include engaging the world by yourself.   InTouch simply means using your body to affirm and celebrate who you are.  It allows our loneliness to fade as we begin to enjoy ourselves in our aloneness.  In other words, solitude.
 
I encourage you to look at the Tips below and find a way to be InTouch once again.  Touch is our first language and reminds us that we are living, breathing human beings.  Good Touch lowers the stress hormone cortisol and stimulates oxytocin, the pleasure hormone.  Touching the world in a meaningful way promotes a sense of well-being and self-worth.  Being InTouch with ourselves in times of aloneness allows us to relax into our being and celebrate the gift of life.
 
Transform your loneliness into solitude by becoming InTouch with your physical body.

​Here are a few ideas that can help you discover ways to transform you loneliness into solitude by becoming more InTouch with your body.
 

• Find a hobby or activity that you enjoy for your alone time
• Take a walk or enjoy some quiet time outside
• Take a nap
• People watch
• Take a long bath
• Progressive Relaxation Exercise -- Progressive Relaxation Script
• Light Workout

 
Discover yourself during your solitude and befriend the body that is your closest ally in life.

The Lethality of Loneliness
 
Solitude
 
Getting to Know Your Body

​Vacations can be physically exhausting.  The main reason is that we tend to replace business with busyness.  Busyness is activity for activity sake.  We have the time so we fill it with doing stuff.  On a road trip we will squeeze in one last tourist stop instead of getting to our hotel and spending time by the pool.  During a staycation we add one more project for the house rather than having a picnic and walk in the park.  Busyness exists to prevent us from getting bored or “not having anything to do.” 
 
This busyness has several significant consequences for our body.

• We may not get enough restful sleep.  We sleep “just enough” to get by so we do not “waste” precious vacation time.

 

• We may not eat very well.  Because we may be traveling, we may eat more fast food or foods we normally avoid. After all, we tell ourselves “We are on vacation!”  This may lead to overloading on carbs, especially the liquid kind.  Too many carbs steal our energy and disrupts the biological rhythms of our life.

 

• Busyness can also steal away the reason we went on vacation.  It can lead us to hurry past or through the moments that renew and refresh.  We take a 15-minute catnap when we really needed an hour to sit and read.  We hurry past a chance to talk with our companions in order to get to the next tourist trap.  We jump on a crowded, noisy bus to make a two-hour tour of downtown historic sights instead of taking a morning and walking the same tour with our family.

 
Busyness encourages stress.  It distracts us from our real needs for rest and refreshment of our weary body.  The rule of thumb for physically en-joying our vacations is very simple.  Too much IS too much.  Have enough to enjoy your time and then move on.  Enjoy that single scoop ice cream cone and then move on.  Take a dip in the pool and then take some time drying in the sun.  Go ahead and get up at 4:30 AM to make the trout run, but when the sun has risen into the morning sky, take a walk and listen to the water, the wind, and the birds in the trees.
 
Vacations are not a sprint to the first day back at work.  They are a leisurely stroll through your life until you return to your usual routine.  May they fill you with en-joy-ment.

​Here are three tips for caring for your body while on vacation.
 
Feed your senses.  The same sensation that is experienced repeatedly makes us numb to it.  Whether the sensation is touch, taste, smell, hearing or seeing, over-exposure causes us to lose our appreciation or even our ability to experience that particular sensation.  Awaken all your senses by giving yourself a full menu of sights, sounds, tastes, textures, and aromas.  Allow each one to fully express itself before you move on, but do not linger.
 
Find a new daily routine.  If you are a routine kind of person, find a new daily routine that is comfortable for you.  You might change the time you get up or go to bed.  You may replace your drive to work with a period of meditation or a walk around the block.  Allow yourself the freedom to eat a light snack between lighter meals.  Allow yourself time to sit with your own thoughts and become reacquainted with your life.  A new daily routine can give your body the space and permission it needs to care for itself.
 
Most importantly, our body needs rest.  Make time for naps or quiet reading or a brief walk.  Allow time for your body to enjoy a bit of exercise.  Allow a light meal that you share with family and friends.  Let it linger on for several hours.  Get the sleep you need each night.  Allow your body to reset its own sleep cycle but do not force it to wake up on some arbitrary cue.  If it wakes at 4:00 am because it wants to greet the sun, then get up and go.  If it says, “OK, I’m tired.  Let’s take a nap!”, then listen to it and find some shade. 
 
Take your body on vacation and let it lay aside all the busyness of living.  Enjoy, refresh, renew as your vacate your daily life for a time of rest and re-creation.

Busyness – the New Consumerism
 
Are Vacations Bad for You?
 
The Importance of Resting
​

After 6+ decades of health and beauty ads, fashion dolls, health club memberships, and a growing life expectancy, we have all learned that we should be ashamed of our bodies.  Women and men, boys and girls have been convinced that their bodies just do not measure up.  We have coined a term for this, body shaming.

We have become uncomfortable in our body and this has led to eating disorders, unnecessary plastic surgery, depression, and even suicide. Body shaming has become part of our everyday language.  We compliment women on their looks.  We appeal to vanity and sex-appeal to sell everything from dog food to real estate.  The young, the middle aged, and older people are vulnerable because of our culture’s obsession with having the body of a twenty-year-old that 99% of twenty year olds do not even have.  The use of Photoshop to enhance a picture to look like Barbie and Ken only reinforces how ashamed we should be of our bodies. 

The fact is that we are all living in “imperfect” bodies.  The perfect images we are fed are intended to drain our bank accounts.  And, when we allow the “imperfections” to taint our body image, we will do whatever we can to feel better about ourselves which usually involve spending a great deal of money.  And in the end, we will still be “imperfect’ and broke!

But there is a better way.  We can evolve a more realistic and positive body image.  We can learn to see our “imperfections” as part of what makes us unique.  We can accept the changes that come with age as signs of survival rather than the “ravages of time.”  We can look at others and acknowledge their uniqueness without comparing them to ourselves. 

This doesn’t make sense.  But it happens because this is more a matter of the will than the mind. Body shaming is an emotional response to a selective set of perceptions and thoughts.  To evolve a better body image will require a changing of the will.  Then we will help the mind re-select more appropriate thoughts that, in turn, will change our perceptions of ourselves and others.

The tip for today is intended to help us begin that change of will, to give ourselves a break from the critical voices that constantly point out our “imperfections?”  I encourage you to begin this journey toward evolving a healthier body image and discover just how unique you really are.

Each time you bathe or take a shower, take a few moments to intentionally acknowledge each of your body parts.

As you feel the warm water, name them with gratitude.  Acknowledge something that this body part does for you.  “I am grateful for my nose because with it, I can smell the roses.”  “I am grateful for my stomach, it helps me feed my body and soul.”

As you move from one body part to the next, continue to affirm what that body part does to bring you joy into your life.  If a negative idea intrudes, label it as negative and let the water wash it down the drain. 

While you dry yourself, gently remind yourself that your body is a gift that only you can cherish and protect.  Acknowledge that is may not be “perfect”, but it is yours to enjoy for a lifetime.  Allow your body image to evolve from shame to gratitude. 

Understanding Body Shaming

Body Shaming

Feeling Comfortable in Your Skin


 

Physical change is an inevitable part of the human experience. There is no staying as we are. The situations are also constantly changing around us.  Financial, social, and relational factors are always shifting this way and that.  We have limited control and cannot see very far into the future.  Such change provides a constant challenge.  How can we take care of ourselves when we face significant changes in our health, our financial, or physical situation?

If we follow the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, we have several options for self-care. 

First, we can accept what we cannot change.  If we have no control over a change that is affecting our daily living then we need to come to terms with it and reframe our abilities and resources.  “Coming to terms” begins with acknowledging that we have no control over the change itself.  A sudden economic reversal like losing a job or an investment is beyond our control.  We can continue to live as if it did not happen, denial, but that will not change the situation.  By accepting the change, we will be able to take a fresh look at where we are, what we have, and discern our options for the future.  This reframing, looking anew and seeing with new eyes, frees us from the anger, shock and fear of the change.  We are free to move on.

However, there are those occasional changes that we can resist and, perhaps reverse.  Here we must change what we can.  We need to explore ways to address the changes such as through medical care, financial planning, or other self-care.  One of the most basic ways to can change the course of our physical health is through routine medical care.  We all age, but that does not mean we have an established appointment with death.  Regular check-ups, routine exams, and medications have extended the human lifespan dramatically.  The same can be said for financial and social changes in our lives.  By paying attention, consulting those who can help, and then following through on the basics for self-care, we can address some changes in our lives.  We will not live forever, but we will live happier and healthier lives.  It is a choice.  Live or allow avoidable change to drain our joy and hope.

Lastly, we need to be able to tell the difference between the inevitable and the challenge of the moment.  How can you tell?  Frankly, sometimes we can’t.  This a situation families face when considering hospice care.  Generally, they try everything they can to change the decline of their family member.  But there comes a moment when they realize that all their efforts are causing more harm than good.  When the odds are that the care will not change the course of the situation, we can know with a deeper understanding than mere evidence.  Wisdom will tell us that it is time to accept the change.  Wisdom allows us to accept the inevitable. 

As we all have experienced, trouble comes when we try to change the inevitable and accept that which can be changed.  When wisdom tells us, “It is time” we can and must shift into acceptance. 

Make a list of the changes you are facing.  Talk with your family or friends about them.  Use their wisdom to help you decide whether they are inevitable or can be changed.  Look for options that have a reasonable chance of changing the course of the change you are facing.  Seek outside advice, i.e. your doctor, financial advisor, or other experts.  Ask them for their opinion and weigh those options against your own judgment and intuition.  Finally, sit quietly with the options before you and allow them to speak directly to you.

Draw up a plan for both accepting the inevitable and making changes to address the challenges for the not so inevitable.  Be as specific as you can.  Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself. 

Finally give a copy of this plan to a close family member or friend who will help you be accountable for seeing it through.  Allow them to help you stay on track.  Do not be afraid to change the plan if the challenge becomes impossible.  Sit back and revisit the process above and make a new plan.  

Physical changes may be inevitable, but they do not have to steal our peace of mind or soul.  These changes may shorten our days, but do not let them take away from our life today.  Let wisdom guide you and you will find life even in the midst of physical changes.

Accepting Physical Changes

Making Wise Choices

The Inevitability of Change