Caregiving can take a toll on the caregiver. It requires setting aside our internal anxiety in order to focus on the physical and emotional needs of the loved one or patient. It can include physically lifting and turning an infirm person to move around. It can cause disruptions with our relationship with those to whom we are providing care as well as with other caregivers engaged with them. Lastly, we can create so much stress in our lives that we are unable to fight off simple colds or infections, etc. And, because we are so focused on the other person, we may ignore the toll caregiving is taking on our physical well-being. This is a very dangerous situation for both the caregiver and the one receiving care.
I had the good fortune to work with many caring professionals during my years as a Hospice Chaplain. The doctors, nurses, aides, social workers and other chaplains kept an eye on the caregivers as well as the patient. When we saw signs of compassion fatigue we would begin talking with the caregiver about taking better care of themselves. We would become coaches, helping the caregiver to see the signs of fatigue and discover ways to deal with it. This included getting a little help, at least in the short-term, and learning better ways to provide the care their loved one needed. In extreme situations we would arrange for the caregiver to take a complete break for a few days.
Generally, the greatest challenge in coaching the caregiver was breaking through and helping them see how vital self-care was for all involved. If the caregiver that could not see the negative consequences of their caregiving they were unable to change. Many, when they saw, would decide that the consequences were not really serious. Many of these were able to get through the crisis but would have so compromised their health that when the pressure was off, they became seriously ill. The key was in helping the caregiver connect the dots between their caregiving and the consequences on their own lives.
Just to recap, caregiving can weaken your immunity, strain or tear muscles or tendons, and destroy relationships with others. Once these things occur, the care suffers and our loved one or patient will be at risk.
I had the good fortune to work with many caring professionals during my years as a Hospice Chaplain. The doctors, nurses, aides, social workers and other chaplains kept an eye on the caregivers as well as the patient. When we saw signs of compassion fatigue we would begin talking with the caregiver about taking better care of themselves. We would become coaches, helping the caregiver to see the signs of fatigue and discover ways to deal with it. This included getting a little help, at least in the short-term, and learning better ways to provide the care their loved one needed. In extreme situations we would arrange for the caregiver to take a complete break for a few days.
Generally, the greatest challenge in coaching the caregiver was breaking through and helping them see how vital self-care was for all involved. If the caregiver that could not see the negative consequences of their caregiving they were unable to change. Many, when they saw, would decide that the consequences were not really serious. Many of these were able to get through the crisis but would have so compromised their health that when the pressure was off, they became seriously ill. The key was in helping the caregiver connect the dots between their caregiving and the consequences on their own lives.
Just to recap, caregiving can weaken your immunity, strain or tear muscles or tendons, and destroy relationships with others. Once these things occur, the care suffers and our loved one or patient will be at risk.
TIPS
- Get the sleep you need. If you fall asleep during the day or wake up tired, look at your sleep schedule and make adjustments.
- Attend to personal protection and hygiene. Are gloves and hand washing too much trouble? Have you skipped your showers and other personal care because you are just too tired?
- Eat well. Caregivers are notorious for making sure the patient or loved one gets the food they need but will only nibble a bit of this or that because preparing a meal for their needs would be too much. Snacking on high carb, high fat foods creates lethargy and steals our energy.
- Make time for your family and friends. Ensure that you stay in contact with your support system. Cocooning with the patient or family member seldom provides the support the caregiver needs.
- Exercise! The simple act of taking a walk while the Patient or loved one sleeps can make a huge difference. Exercise replenishes energy and awakens the immune system.
In short, taking care of our physical and social needs while caregiving allows us to sustain the care we provide through the long haul. It leads to better care for the patient or family member and allows us to experience the joy that comes with being a caregiver to someone we love.
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