Can You Say No?
We cannot avoid all stress. In fact, stress comes in handy when our lives need a little extra energy to get through a tough time. But, small doses of stress are generally sufficient. Therefore, we do need to learn how to manage our stress.
Many years ago, my Doctor saw that I was showing many of the signs of accumulated stress. My pulse and blood pressure was too high. I had a short temper and complained of being tired all the time. The doctor conducted all the usual tests and sat me down and prescribed to important treatments. First, he suggested I put my watch in the dresser drawer and leave it there. Second, he said that I needed to take smaller steps when I was heading somewhere. He rightly understood that most stress is “self-inflicted” and the remaining is magnified by the choices we make in response to it.
I began doing some time management and found that I was obsessed with being early for every appointment. I put pressure on myself to get stuff done according to the clock. This created more anxiety than it relieved and amplified my stress when that “stuff happens” that throws the schedule out the window. Learning to live by something other than the clock helped reduce some of my stress. But, it was not until I noticed that I was running everywhere that I began to feel the difference. Smaller steps represented a life that was more paced to the needs of life rather than my desires for efficiency and serving the clock. By recognizing how I was stressing myself out, I learned to use the greatest of all stress remedies, a simple “No.”
Go ahead and keep a schedule if you need one. Schedules help us set priorities for our time. Consolidate all of your calendars to one place so that you can see when you are overbooked. Keep an active to do list to help you keep up with the details. But until we learn to say no to that which is of less importance, none of these will reduce our stress.
Establish you own boundaries according to the way you prioritize your life and then do not be afraid to say “No”. Say no to those things that do not serve the things about which you are most passionate. Leave room for saying “Yes” to those things that are more important to you. Leave room in your life for that which brings you joy and satisfaction. If you cannot say “No” to the clutter in your schedule, your calendar, or your to do list you will continue to suffer from self-inflicted stress.
Accept responsibility for your stress and “Just say no!”
Many years ago, my Doctor saw that I was showing many of the signs of accumulated stress. My pulse and blood pressure was too high. I had a short temper and complained of being tired all the time. The doctor conducted all the usual tests and sat me down and prescribed to important treatments. First, he suggested I put my watch in the dresser drawer and leave it there. Second, he said that I needed to take smaller steps when I was heading somewhere. He rightly understood that most stress is “self-inflicted” and the remaining is magnified by the choices we make in response to it.
I began doing some time management and found that I was obsessed with being early for every appointment. I put pressure on myself to get stuff done according to the clock. This created more anxiety than it relieved and amplified my stress when that “stuff happens” that throws the schedule out the window. Learning to live by something other than the clock helped reduce some of my stress. But, it was not until I noticed that I was running everywhere that I began to feel the difference. Smaller steps represented a life that was more paced to the needs of life rather than my desires for efficiency and serving the clock. By recognizing how I was stressing myself out, I learned to use the greatest of all stress remedies, a simple “No.”
Go ahead and keep a schedule if you need one. Schedules help us set priorities for our time. Consolidate all of your calendars to one place so that you can see when you are overbooked. Keep an active to do list to help you keep up with the details. But until we learn to say no to that which is of less importance, none of these will reduce our stress.
Establish you own boundaries according to the way you prioritize your life and then do not be afraid to say “No”. Say no to those things that do not serve the things about which you are most passionate. Leave room for saying “Yes” to those things that are more important to you. Leave room in your life for that which brings you joy and satisfaction. If you cannot say “No” to the clutter in your schedule, your calendar, or your to do list you will continue to suffer from self-inflicted stress.
Accept responsibility for your stress and “Just say no!”
Tip -- Making a Boundary Check
Are My Boundaries Real or Imagined
Your tip for the week is to do a simple exercise. Write down the 10 most important things that you do in a week. Then, prioritize them from 1-10 with 1 being the most important to you. At the end of the week, take a look at your just complete schedule, calendar, and to do list and ask yourself these questions.
How well do my accomplishments this week reflect the priorities I set?
How well do the things that did not get done reflect my priorities?
How do I feel about telling myself “no”? Telling my family “no”? Telling my friends “no”? Telling my employer/customers “no”?
Now step back and ask yourself, are my boundaries real or imagined? How can I better manage the stress in my life?
Your tip for the week is to do a simple exercise. Write down the 10 most important things that you do in a week. Then, prioritize them from 1-10 with 1 being the most important to you. At the end of the week, take a look at your just complete schedule, calendar, and to do list and ask yourself these questions.
How well do my accomplishments this week reflect the priorities I set?
How well do the things that did not get done reflect my priorities?
How do I feel about telling myself “no”? Telling my family “no”? Telling my friends “no”? Telling my employer/customers “no”?
Now step back and ask yourself, are my boundaries real or imagined? How can I better manage the stress in my life?
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